Too little, too late
by Anti-APTX
Summary: The Edogawa Conan show has been going on for too long. And now the time has come for the show to end. In the worst way possible for Mouri Ran.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yep, I'm back. And many of you may have noticed, I pulled out one of my fic and I am sorry about that. I just couldn't grab my muse back again to write it. And my opinions on some of the characters have changed after reading DC again. I hate how Ran has regressed and love how Haibara has evolved. And some of the BO situations in the manga didn't sit right for me or to be exact, how Conan reacted and how the Mouris were blindsided. And this story was born.**

 **I'll add in more characters soon. It's not gonna be a long one though.**

 **THIS IS AN EDITED VERSION BECAUSE SOME WORDS WERE MISSING. On the other side, I have written the next chapter and it explores Ran's past and we see Shinchi, Sonoko and Ran's friendship. Just a glimpse though. You'll see it in a few days.**

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Edogawa Conan was based on lies. He was the epitome of Kudo Shinichi's hypocrisy. For a man who believed in one truth, his whole existence had turned into a big lie. And there were many who were aware of this lie. His parents, Professor Agasa, a BO member turned into partner, Haibara Ai, his fellow teen aged detective, Hattori Heiji, Masumi Sera and even Hondo Eisuke.

Shinichi knew he was betraying his childhood friend, Ran. He knew that she was one of the people who deserved to know the truth. Anybody who had trusted him as Kudo Shinichi or Conan Edogawa deserved to know the truth. They deserved to know that they were being manipulated by a kid who really wasn't.

But seeing them alive and not living everyday clouded in fear and anxiety soothed his conscience a bit. That was his only salvation. Or excuse. That those who didn't know his truth were alive and getting on with their lives. Yes, Ran was the one who missed him the most but she could smile, laugh and enjoy a day out with her friends and family without any reservations. Reservations that Kudo Shinichi didn't want to impose on her. And if it was left upto him, he damn well wouldn't. Not until all of the Black Organization members were punished for their crimes.

He sometimes wondered why he hesitated on telling Ran the truth. Professor Agasa was the first person whom he had encountered after his shrinking and he was frazzled seeing himself turn into a seven year old and he desperately needed somebody to help him, even though he didn't want to admit that. And so, Professor Agasa was the first person whom he had told the truth.

Maybe it was the fact that Professor Agasa was somebody he respected and looked up to. Maybe that is why when he said to hide the truth from everybody, especially Ran, that he had agreed. After all, the old man had been with him all through his childhood and teenage years, why would he steer him wrong now? And so, when Ran came he blurted out the name that would forever haunt him. Edogawa Conan.

And when he suggested Kudo Shini-, _no,_ Edogawa Conan, to live with Ran because her father was a detective, he wondered whether it was the right path to take. But what option did he have? Tell Ran the truth and dangle her in front of the possibility that she could be found by the Black Organization? Shinichi thrived on truth, logical reasoning and not letting his emotions interfere with the truth. But then, he _was_ human, wasn't he? He had things he feared losing, he had people he feared losing. And Ran messed with his logical head like no one had.

But then, she had suspected him as well. She had cornered him, pleaded with him and outright demanded him to tell the truth. That Kudo Shinichi resided in Conan Edogawa. She gave him proof after proof. And he acted like she was the one losing her mind. After all, it was impossible for anybody to shrink. What was her logic behind that? Where was her undeniable proof that he was Kudo Shinichi? Then, Ran's belief and reasoning were thrown off. Because she didn't have the undeniable truth. The one that he couldn't escape out of. The guilt and shame ate at her mind and heart. After all, she had accused an innocent seven year old boy and scared him out of his mind. What was she thinking? He was just a bright, young boy. There was no way he could be Shinichi.

Then came Hattori Heiji. He had done the same thing as Ran had. Accused him. Given him proof after proof. He just had the added benefit of seeing the Voice Changing Bow-tie in action. Thinking back, Conan could have lied to get out of the mess. He could have used the tactics he had used on Ran to throw Hattori off. Maybe he would have succeeded. Maybe not. But then he threw the bombshell. That he was going to tell Ran. And that was unacceptable.

He wondered why that was unacceptable? Why could he confess the truth to a boy he had met a handful times but not his childhood friend?

The circle of people who knew kept on expanding. Some stumbled on it. Some suspected him. Sometimes he confirmed their suspicion. That he was Kudo Shinichi. Sometimes he led them to believe that he was just an extraordinarily brilliant young boy. But the desperation of hiding the truth never hit him as strong as when Ran was the one suspecting.

The people around him agreed with not telling the truth to the Mouris.

 _There was no need for them to be in added danger._

 _If, by mistake, the secret was leaked, then those who knew about his identity, would be killed._

And on and on, it went. Why were the people who knew his identity different than the Mouris? The Mouri family was proficient in martial arts. They could protect themselves to a certain degree. That was more than what could be said about other people. His parents were flighty. They were rarely home. And they loved to prank him to make him realize how adverse his situation was. They didn't have any formal self defense training. They just had connections. And connections took time to arrive in an immediate _get the hell out of this place right now_ situation. They were hardly the kind of people who could protect themselves. Same with Professor Agasa and Haibara Ai. One was an old man and one was a seven year old girl though not actually seven year old girl. Highly intelligent and very technology savvy. Still, how could they manage to protect themselves from a man coming to kill them?

Hattori was different. He was intelligent. He had kendo for protection. He could be stealthy. But then, he was a bad liar. The amount of 'Kudos' and several variations that came out of his mouth to give an excuse for that 'Kudo' were numerous.

The FBI was his friend. They may not know his real identity but they suspected him. Sera Masumi seemed to be a hundred percent sure that Conan was actually Shinichi. And he didn't seem that afraid by that prospect.

Most of the people who knew his identity had at least one thing in common. Intelligence. They all were highly intellectual and efficient in what they did. So was that it? Was the criteria for becoming one of the 'Those Who Know My Identity' intelligence? Did he believe on the brain over brawn thing? Was he that shallow? Did he not trust Kogoro or Ran to keep quiet if they knew?

Kogoro may be a drunk, perverted old man but when it counted, he had proven himself to be a good detective. And the old man must have had _something_ in him that led him to become a good police officer. Conan knew he was being unfair to the old man. He was leading him to believe that he was a great detective when he wasn't. He _was_ capable of performing a perfectly good deduction but that was when he was highly motivated or when the clues were laid perfectly bare before him and in an arranged manner. Kogoro needed to be led by the nose. Ran didn't even need that.

Sometimes, she was a better detective than Kogoro. Conan had to spend much less time explaining things to Ran than he had with Kogoro. Shinichi recognized a natural hidden talent in Ran that even she didn't know. After all, he had called him 'Miss Detective.' She was capable of joining clues and coming up with the conclusion on her own. She was the only person who had come close to knowing his identity time and again. And she was really close to the truth on how he shrunk too.

There was no reason as to why he should be hiding the truth from them. Except for the fact that he lied to them and made them believe that he was an innocent seven year old. He knew that Kogoro's pride would take a hit if he knew who the real brain behind 'Sleeping Kogoro' was. He knew that Kogoro would be furious with him for the fact that Shinichi had lied and lied through his teeth. That he had made Ran cry. That had broken their trust.

There was a small speck of hope that he could have been forgiven if he had told them the truth and had asked them to play along with him. After all, they had been willing to lie on his behalf when he was suspected of being a murderer.

But now, there was none. He hadn't even told Kogoro or Ran about the fact that the Black Organization had come so close to actually killing Kogoro. Was the theory that _if they didn't know they were safe_ actually true? Was he really saving their lives by not telling them that he was in fact, Kudo Shinichi? Wouldn't it have been better for them to know and be on guard for their safety? Ran could use her karate and Kogoro could use his judo for self protection. Combined with the fact that the FBI would also protect them, weren't they the safest of them all?

He wondered what was stopping him from taking the plunge.

But what Kudo Shinichi didn't know was how all of his musings were for nothing. Because, in a few hours, he would be relieved of the burden he was carrying. At least regarding the Mouris. And in the most painful way possible for Mouri Ran.

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 **A/N: Man, all of this killed me. Ugh. But yeah, these are some of my thoughts on what could have or should have happened. Let me know how it was. I would try to update as fast as I can with my upcoming exam as my priority. So review, please?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Another one. I hope you liked the previous chapter. This is gonna be sad because I'm venturing into Ran's past. Especially her parents' separation and her friendship with Shinichi and Sonoko. I wanted something real because all of the times her parents' separation has come up, it was discarded with little knowledge and it was unfair to her as Ran has grown up into a self sufficient woman. So this is my take on her past and how she has become what she is now. The few upcoming chapters will address a few issues before I go into the whole BO mess. I hope you'll bear with me.**

 **Thank you for your inputs and follows and favourites. I am glad to see that there are people who were thinking like I was.**

 **It's unedited. I'll do it later.**

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For any child, the first person admired by them was either of the parent, the mother or the father. In case of a young Mouri Ran, it was both. She admired how her mother had the patience, intelligence and strong will to get her law degree as well as handle a household. She saw how diligently she worked day and night so that she could become a successful lawyer. She saw how her mother doted on her family. She saw how she cleaned the small apartment and she saw how her mother tried to cook them a good meal. Tried being the operative word. Yes, she was strict and imposed rules but wasn't that normal? Every parent worried for their child and every household has some kind of rules that they followed.

She admired her father as well. Since he was a part of the police, he played a pivotal role in keeping the city safe. Ran took great pride in knowing that her father worked so that all the other residents could live their life peacefully. She saw how dedicated he was towards his profession. She saw how her father cared for her and her mother. She saw how protective he was over them.

She strived to be like them. As smart as her mother was. As protective of her loved ones as her father was. As independent as both her parents were yet still dependent on the other for the things other lacked.

She saw her parents interact and to such a young girl, her parents were the perfect couple. Until they weren't. Till today, Ran doesn't know what was the actual catalyst behind her parents' separation. She _could_ see what the reasons might be but she didn't know the exact cause.

After an incident which wasn't explained to young Ran, her parents started bickering a lot more than usual. Seeing her parents fight day in and day out impacted her psyche. What caused them to become this way? The once perfect duo was breaking apart in front of her eyes and she didn't know what to do. She heard her father scream at her mother for being too controlling or not spending enough time or something or the other. She heard her mother scream at her father for spending their money on drinking or coming drunk late at nights or flirting with another woman or something or the other. All Ran could do was take it in and swallow the tears that threatened to flow. But when the screaming escalated to threats, the tears burst forth. She would sob her heart out, screaming at them to just _stop fighting_. Seeing their young daughter brought them both out of their angry haze and they _promised that they wouldn't fight again._ They said _we are sorry, Ran._

And she would tearfully ask _Do you really swear not to fight again? I don't like it when Mom and Dad fight._

And they would answer _Yes, Ran. We promise._

And after a few more rounds of this, her mother left her and her father. She remembered that day very clearly. She had a very normal day at school, studying and laughing with her friends. Cajoling Shinichi to play with her and acting as a shield between Sonoko and the guys she had a trifle with.

She went back home with Shinichi and Sonoko and when they went their separate ways, Ran waved bye at them. She was happily humming to a song that Sonoko had introduced her to and started climbing up the stairs that led to her house. When she entered her apartment and happily announced, 'I'm home!', she was met with deadly silence. Her brows furrowed and she called for her parents. When nobody answered her, she went to her parents' bedroom and peeked in just to see her father lying across the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling and a bottle of something on the bedside table. She knew that bottle was bad. Mom always got mad when she saw that bottle. She quietly sneaked in so that she could take the bottle away and hide it away somewhere before her father would notice. She didn't want her parents fighting again.

With a plan successfully formed in her mind, she nodded to herself and entered the room. The door creaked a bit and her father's head lolled lazily to see who had entered his room. After all, from that day onward, it was going to be _his_ room only. He smiled bitterly at seeing his daughter standing near the door, looking at him with her wide blue eyes.

Ran knew something was wrong the instant she saw that weird smile on her father's face. It was odd seeing him in the day but then, he had an erratic schedule. Maybe he was supposed to go to work at night? Looking clearly at him, she could see her father's red rimmed eyes. Was he not feeling well? Well, that wouldn't work.

 _Are you not feeling well, Dad?_ she had asked in a worried tone. When no answer came from him and all he did was stare at her with eyes that frankly scared Ran, she came to the conclusion that he must have been really sick to be so out of it. She walked towards the cabinet and took the first aid kit out, while her father's eyes followed him. When she came towards him, she said _Jeez, Dad, you have to take care of yourself. Where does it hurt?_

And then, for the first time, she saw her dad crying. She was petrified, seeing a man that symbolised strength for her, to break down into tears. Seeing him crying so bitterly, she started crying as well and babbled, _What's wrong, Dad? Why are you crying? Where does it hurt? I'll make it better, I promise._ She was enveloped in a warm hug and both father and daughter were crying in the middle of day. One with the knowledge that he had single handedly destroyed their lives and other with the knowledge that her father was hurt and she didn't know how to make it better.

When both of them had calmed down enough, her father said the haunting words, _Your mother is not coming back home, Ran. She left us._ At first, she didn't believe him. How was the possible? Why would she leave? And without telling her? Dad must have gotten things wrong.

Neither of them moved. They sat huddled together for hours, Ran expecting her mother to come back and smile at her, announcing that she was home and asking what did they want for dinner. And they would balk at the idea of her preparing dinner but smile and bear it. But when afternoon, turned into evening and then into night, she started believing her Dad a bit. She thought that maybe she was running late from her job. A call would definitely come informing them that Eri was going to be a little late returning back home.

Their stomachs growled but nobody in that room moved. It was as if they were afraid that things wouldn't turn out as they hoped if they moved a muscle.

It was 2 am when Ran realized how true her father's statement was. _She isn't coming back. Mom isn't coming back. Why isn't she coming back?_

Kogoro could see last of his daughter's hope fade away. Her little body shook with unshed tears and he realized how much of a failure he was. He had sworn to himself to protect the two women who were the light of his lives. And he disappointed both of them.

A shrill cry erupted from her and pierced into the night. A child's painful wale was one of the most heartbreaking noise one could ever hear and hearing it come from his Ran, it seemed that the heartbreak was tenfold. All he could do was hug his daughter. He had promised that anybody who would hurt either his wife or his daughter would be having hell to pay. And it killed him that he was the one who had hurt them.

 **~oOo~**

Ran had an uncanny ability to hide what she felt from the world. Even at a young age, she knew that people worried when somebody they loved was in pain. Having parents who fought everyday had taught her that. She had also come to realize that for some people, promises meant nothing. And that it was just a word to lull a person into a sense of well being. It was all lies. People were never truthful.

She had become jaded. And no one knew that, except for Shinichi. He knew that Ran was putting up a mask.

The fact that her parents had separated wasn't news to any of the students. After all, a few weeks had passed after her mother had left and gossip travelled fast. She did contact home to talk to Ran. And she did explain what had happened and she invited Ran to live with her. Eri knew that it would be best if Ran moved in with her. She could take care of her daughter better than Kogoro. Even if she didn't, at least she wouldn't be drunk and neglect her when her daughter needed her.

But Ran refused. She didn't know what led her to do that. Maybe it was the fact that she saw how heartbroken her father was. Maybe it was the fact that her dad looked like a corpse, ready to collapse at a moment's notice. Maybe it was because she blamed her mother a bit for leaving her alone. Whatever the reason, she didn't accept her mother's proposal. And that started her journey as a self sufficient person.

She cleaned the house from top to bottom. She taught herself how to cook. She taught herself how to sew and iron and wash clothes. She taught herself all the things that no normal child her age knew. At the age of nine, Ran had become a household wizard.

Seeing his daughter work so hard and knowing that she had refused to live with her mother, even though she tried to hide that information, and had chosen to live with him brought some of his will back. He cleaned himself up and opened up a detective agency after he had resigned from the police. For a few years, everything was well. He got a few cases and brought in money that could keep their needs fed. But then the call of alcohol lured him in again despite him trying his best. At least, that's what he told himself.

At the age of eleven, when the finances started deteriorating, Ran didn't know what the cause was. She was buying groceries that were fresh yet available at minimum price she could find. She didn't buy costly clothes and sewed up the clothes that were torn but useable. She was diligent with her health. Even though she had been practicing karate for years, she took extra care in not overworking herself. After all, she had to look out for her father. She didn't know what had happened that almost all their saved money was used up. So, she started micromanaging. Every little thing that could cost them but could be avoided, she did avoid. She stopped buying new clothes. She cut her appetite. She stayed up at nights to research new ways to make them financially secure. But nothing came to fruit.

And then she saw him while she was on the way home, at a shop. Dad had bought a new pack of alcohol. He was spending money on the one thing that had destroyed him and he had promised not to touch it again.

Her first lesson on people and promises. Taught to her by her own parents.

 **~oOo~**

Shinichi knew when his best friend was faking. After all was said and done, Shinichi understood Ran like nobody did. He knew Ran was an emotional person. He had been with her through everything. He was there when she was putting up her act of everything-is-alright. He was with her the instant that mask broke. He was with her when she cried endless tears and shouted to the world how unfair all of it was. He had been the first person to realize that Ran had started to believe that promises were just words. That there was a flip side to everything. That happiness didn't last.

So as her best friend, along with Sonoko, who was Ran's good friend as well, he had decided to bring Ran out of her jaded shell when things had gone too far.

He was always teased by other students that he and Ran were close. Along with the fact that he was unnaturally brilliant and that he had a best female friend, he was a target for many jabs and teases. But he let it roll off his back, most of the time. Before her parents' separation, there was a time when he had started calling her 'Mouri'. They had made up a few days later but he knew that she was hurt by him. After her parents' separation, he didn't dare do anything that hurt her.

He never probed her to tell him anything. And for the first time, Sonoko didn't either. The two of them had an unspoken truce of _protect Ran at all costs_. For all her flighty tendencies and teases and loud mouthedness and for all his high and mighty act and sarcastic jabs and over all arrogance, they recognized one fact. That both of them cared about Ran deeply.

Whenever someone teased her about her dysfunctional family or tried to make her feel bad, the two of them stood up to them, no matter what their size was or what their gender was. They supported her and tried to make her happy. And for a while, it worked. Ran did cry but it was never over her parents. It was as if she had selective vision. She didn't want to address her family's situation. She accepted it but she didn't want to talk about it.

But she spilled the beans about everything after she had seen her father buying alcohol. It took her nearly two years to tell them everything.

She was enraged. How could he do this to her? After he had promised her. Her mind started spinning and all she knew was that she had to find either Shinichi or Sonoko. With that in mind, she started sprinting, desperate to find either of them. She needed to feel good. She needed to feel not so betrayed. She needed her best friends.

And then she saw Shinichi laughing along with his football teammates. Seeing him smiling and acting like an actual eleven year old boy stopped her. Sonoko and him had done everything to make her happy. They didn't deserve to be burdened by her problems. She could smile and bear it. She had been doing this even before her parents split. She knew she was capable of it. She would take a walk and clear her head and hide away all the money she had saved up. There was no need for Shinichi or Sonoko to know how broken her family was. How broken she was. It would seem like an injustice after all they had done for her.

With her resolve hardened, she took a few steps back but was stopped when her back collided with somebody's front. She whirled around to find Sonoko smiling at her.

"Hey, Ran. What's up? Did you come to see Shinichi-kun practice football?" she asked.

Ran tried her best to smile and laughed a little nervously, "Yeah. I am just going to head back home. I have to prepare dinner...", she trailed and swallowed a little, hoping against hope that her voice didn't break, "I have to make dinner for...", her voice hitched and tears started gathering into her eyes. "I have to..." and then she broke down. So much for hiding her emotions.

Seeing Ran cry was not a new thing. But seeing Ran crying so bitterly was Sonoko's first time. The saddest thing of all was that she didn't even make a noise. The tears just noiselessly slipped through. And she was still attempting to finish her sentence. Ran's breath hitched and she didn't know what to do. She had her world destroyed once. She couldn't see it happen again.

Sonoko circled her arms around Ran's shoulders and shielded her from those who were passing by. She knew that Ran wouldn't appreciate anybody seeing her like this.

From the football field, Shinichi noticed Sonoko encircling someone. Someone resembling Ran. Without any thoughts, he stepped away from his teammates to find out what was wrong. He saw Ran's body shaking and Sonoko trying to shush her when he came closer. He ran all the way towards them and asked Sonoko with a tilt of his head _What's wrong?_ and Sonoko just shook her head sadly and patted Ran's head in order to calm her down.

He walked closer and asked Ran, "Ran, what's wrong?" in a quiet voice. It scared him to see her like this. She looked distraught. His mind started running. Was she hurt? Was it something do with her parents? Was anybody she knew really hurt? Had somebody said something to her? He turned his head around to find the jerkoff who had dared to make her cry like this and was surprised when arms enveloped him into a hug. He didn't even blush at the contact. Embarrassment was the furthest thing on his mind. Ran was shaking without making any noise. He could hear her saying something about her seeing her father buying alcohol. And he knew that it was time for her to open up to them about her parents.

 **~oOo~**

The three of them walked towards a secluded park. It was almost dusk and nobody was there to listen on to them. Ran sat in on the seat with her hands clutching the bottle of water that Shinichi had given her to calm herself down. She picked at the bottle's label and stared intently at it, as if it was going to solve all her problems. She knew that Sonoko and Shinichi were standing in front of her, expecting her to talk but she couldn't. Her voice was blocked.

Was it really okay to tell them everything? What if they left her like her mother did? What if they found her problematic and hard to deal with? Shouldn't she try to make her best friends happy and not trouble them?

She opened up her mouth to say _I'm okay_ , when she heard Shinichi say, "Tell us, Ran. It's been too long and you have always closed up whenever we tried to get you to talk to us. We are not here to judge you. This is killing you. Do you think we didn't notice that you have lost weight? Or that your lunch doesn't contain half of the things that it should? That you are not buying new clothes? Or that you are just sewing old ones?" he took a deep breath in when he noticed that his tone was getting angrier. He almost wanted to throttle her parents for doing this to her. What was wrong with them? He continued when he thought that he was calm enough and said in an even manner, "Can't you trust us, Ran?"

And at that, she let out a bitter bark of laugh. Hearing that come from gentle Mouri Ran was almost terrifying. What had her parents done to her?

"Trust you, yeah, right. And when I will, you guys are also going to turn your back on me. I'm pretty sure that both of you have thought how much of a drag I am. I just bring you guys down. I can't compete with your intelligence level, Shinichi. I can't talk about fashion brands and parties with you, Sonoko. All I do is bring you guys trouble. Both of you always come to my defense when somebody does anything to make me upset. What have I ever done for both of you? Yeah, I listen to your theories or cases or Sherlock Holmes babble, Shinichi. And I listen to you talk about your family and parties that you attended and how all the high class glamour and stuff sometimes just pisses you off, Sonoko. But that's it. I listen and I listen. I don't _do_ anything for you guys. Both of you are such great friends and I am lucky to have you but you are going to leave me if I tell you about all this stuff. I know you will. Who wouldn't? After all, I am just a weak crybaby who hasn't..." her voice hitched and she took a breath in and swallowed and rolled her eyes heavenwards to stop the tears from coming. Why was everything so _wrong?_

"If you think of us like that then we aren't that great friends, are we?" Sonoko whispered thickly. She hadn't known that Ran was feeling this way. She had agreed with Shinichi-kun to not push her into talking but was it the right thing? Seeing and hearing Ran this way, she wasn't sure that it was.

Shinichi just stared at her without speaking anything. He knew this was long time coming. He knew that she needed to let things out. And if this was how things were going to go and then they were damn well going to be this way. He could take in all the vitriol she was going to spill and he knew Sonoko would too. They were always going to be there for her and Ran needed to realize that. They were not going to leave her at any cost.

Ran gasped when she heard Sonoko's words and stood up. She didn't intend to make her feel this way. She started to apologize when she heard Shinichi say, "Don't apologize. Just say what you are feeling, Ran. Just let it all out. We can take it. After all the listening you have done, we can do our share of listening too."

She looked at him in disbelief and saw the small smile he sported and then saw Sonoko behind him wipe away her tears and nod her head. With a deep breath and new resolve, she started telling them all.

And as promised, Sonoko and Shinichi listened. And she knew that she may not be able to trust her parents. But she could trust Shinichi and Sonoko. And a part of Ran's jaded shell faded.

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 **A/N: What am I doing to the precious doll? Ugh. Man. Thoughts? I think it was a more realistic approach towards her parents separation and her reactions. What do you think? Will be back in a few days.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, that blew me away. Thank you so much for your reviews. I knew that writing Ran's past was going to be tough and it would be tough reading as well but to be honest, I didn't expect the type of reviews that I got. Any thoughtfully constructed review is helpful for a writer and it does motivate us to write but the ones where you guys share your thoughts and stories are the ones that really moves me.**

 **I am glad to know that you guys got sad with Ran or teared up along with her because that was my intention. I must be turning evil. But worry not, I will give you a happy ending. It may not be as you hoped it to be because *SPOILER ALERT* I am going to kill off a few of the major characters that's going to start the downfall of Shinichi's lies. I am trying to make this story as realistic as possible.**

 **Okay, moving on. I've decided not to do Haibara's past because it will play a role in BO mess. Can I just say how much I love her? At first, I didn't. To my sixteen year old self, she was a player member of the plot but she was also an obstacle for my ShinRan ship. But now? Damn. The character development as she went from a suicidal martyr to a person who won't back down until what's right is done was amazing. Ugh. I am rambling.**

 **Unedited.**

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Ran had two famous people as her parents. Her mother as a successful lawyer and her father as a famous detective, aptly named 'Sleeping Kogoro'. The two of them dealt with many facets of law and many kinds of people. The ones who could never be innocent but they turned out to be. The ones who looked like they couldn't harm an insect let alone, kill a human being, but they did kill somebody. Being around her parents had taught Ran a lot about how cruel a human mind could become and what lengths a person could go.

She had Shinichi as one of her best friend. One of the renowned teenaged detectives. He had started small. Finding lost items or helping pet owners finding their lost pets. His big break came when they were aboard a plane heading towards America. But long before that, Ran knew that Shinichi could do anything he set his mind to. She knew that Shinichi was on his way to bigger and better things.

She had never seen passion like that and as much as his geekiness made her mad, she recognized how hard Shinichi worked towards his goal of becoming a detective. His whole body language would change at the word 'case'. He never spoke out while he was busy piecing together the clues he had found but his mind would whirl at lightning speed, taking in everything about that case; from how a person related to that case was reacting, to the littlest thing he felt was out of place. He would catalog every little act, every spoken word in his mind. And to Ran, that was fascinating. Seeing Shinichi in action was an amazement to her. She saw a spark in him that could cause a wildfire and she voluntarily chose to burn with that wildfire.

Surrounded by people who were so close to death and the darker side of humanity, she chose to be on the line. The line that demarcated logic and emotion. She could understand the hows, the whys, then whens of a case but she rarely actively tried to delve into finding the hows, the whys and the whens of a case. She left that to those who were used to a grim crime scene. She tried to preserve whatever little bit of innocence she had with every part of her soul. She didn't _want_ to see the cruel world. She didn't _want_ to acknowledge that if she wanted, she _could_ piece in all the clues. After all, she was not an idiot. Keeping up with Shinichi was hard but somehow, she managed. It took all of her energy to be on the same level as him and she knew she failed to do that almost every time. He was always one step ahead of her. But she wasn't resentful of that. She knew Shinichi appreciated her for the things she did. As she appreciated the little things that he did for her.

If Shinichi was the dark knight, then Sonoko was the white queen. To Ran, both of them were irreplaceable. Whenever things got too much for Ran, she knew she could count on both of them. They had their differences but still respected the fact that Ran saw something in both of them that the other couldn't see. As kids, neither Shinichi nor Sonoko had great friends. Kids around Sonoko would be put off with her abraisive behaviour and how loud and outspoken she was. Kids around Shinichi would stay away because he acted like he was above all of them and how they couldn't hide away their secrets. Both of them were isolated in their own ways until Ran brought them together. She acted as the glue that was their trio. And she wouldn't trade it for anything.

Her mothering tendencies were something Ran took great pride in. With her father as he was and Sonoko being flighty and having bad judgements in relationships and Shinichi not eating for hours on end when solving a case and going head first in a possibly dangerous case, she had developed the habit of taking care of everyone around her. She always had a handkerchief ready. She always had a sewing kit with her. She always had some words of wisdom to share with Sonoko or words of encouragement and safety to share with Shinichi.

She was wise beyond years when it came to relationships. She supposed she could be greatful to her parents for that. For teaching her how to appreciate somebody and to not let the important people in your lives go. She supposed maybe that is why she waited for Shinichi. He was, and is, someone incredibly important to her. Beyond the fact that she was in love with him, Shinichi was the source of most of her morals. His thoughts on crime and people in general fascinated her. If Ran was the emotion expert, then Shinichi was the logic expert. He could thoroughly deconstruct how a murder took place and remain stoic, while Ran was the one dabbing her eyes at how sad the situation was. She knew she would never be capable of unflinchingly presenting her deductions. And she didn't try to, unless the situation called for it.

Speaking of presenting deductions, Ran found it odd how her father would solve cases. 'Sleeping Kogoro' was what the people had started calling him. A masterful detective who performed his deductions with his eyes trained towards the ground. She was grateful for that fact that her father was getting work and they were financially stable but still, she found it odd.

And the thing was that Sleeping Kogoro had started after a cute, seven year old boy, who looked like her best friend when he _was_ seven year old, had come to live with her. Edogawa Conan. The cute boy with his too big glasses and red bowtie and blue jacket was too adorable for words. He had a knack for finding trouble and that flared up her mothering instincts. She was going to protect that child whatever it took. She treated him as her little brother. The one she always wanted but never got. And in a darkest corner of her mind, she admitted to herself, that Conan reminded her of Shinichi and that soothed the gaping hole he had left behind after his wake.

She never faulted Shinichi for making her wait. Because she knew, that if she chose to, she could stop waiting for him. And there was nothing that Shinichi could do. She was the one making herself wait. And maybe it made her an emotional fool who wasn't capable of letting go but wasn't that the point? Not letting go of the people who are important to you? She knew how easy it was to break off a relationship. Letting people go was easy and as life moved along, people made new friends and lost old ones. So when someone came into your life whom you know you can not ever replace, you don't let go. That's what life had taught her.

She knew how important she was to him when he called her out of the blue just to talk to her. She knew how Shinchi would get engrossed into a case and she didn't begrudge him his curiosity. It made him who he was and if she was truthful, she loved that part of him as well. That childlike curiosity that he never let go of. Yes, she would tease him whenever he would tell her on the phone that he was busy with a case but she knew that Shinichi was trying his best and so could she. Sometimes, it got too much and she cried for her best friend that never was with her. At those times, Conan was the one who would hold her together.

That sweet boy was one of her emotional crutches. And she hated that. He was supposed to be a fun loving, wide eyed innocent boy, not a support for a teenage girl. But as Conan stayed with them, she realized that he never was a fun loving wide eyed innocent boy. He _lived_ for the cases that came to Mouri Detective Agency. The more trickier the better it was. At first, she tried to shield him away from the gruesome nature of humanity but he proved to be more of an expert on that topic than her. She wondered what kind of past he had that led him to be so stoic in the face of murder. She also realized that he _wanted_ to be her emotional support. Conan had a knack of knowing when Ran was sad and he coerced her to talk to him so she could let out whatever she was feeling. Just like Shinichi.

Linking him to Shinichi was something she did unconsciously. She knew how absurd it was. How could somebody even shrink? That's science fiction stuff right there. She tried to shoo away any thoughts like that whenever it came but sometimes they stuck in her head until she felt like she would go crazy. So, she would confront him to let go of that crazy notion. Her head told her it was impossible that Conan was Shinichi but she felt it in her bones. She just knew that he was Shinichi.

She stalked him like her prey and demanded answers. How did he know things about her and her friends and family that only Shinichi did? Why had he turned so small? Why was he living with her? Why was he lying? She knew there was a damn good reason why he would hide from her. Shinichi believed in the power of truth and what it symbolized. He lived and breathed truth. So what had scared him so much that he was lying to her everyday? Was it something do with his shrinking? She had all these questions and more and was ready to fire at him but he always had reasons as his armour.

Reasons as to why he was so similar with Shinichi. Apparently, they were related. Reasons as to why he knew things about her. Shinichi talked to him about her. Reasons that always threw her off and made her lose the train of questions that she was dying to ask. She saw Conan and Shinichi together in a room once. She talked to Shinichi while Conan was just sitting in front of her. She had heard Shinichi's voice on the phone talking to her while Conan was just in front of her. All of her million theories and hopes and suspicion couldn't stand straight in front of an iron wall of reason and logic.

The whole ordeal left a bitter taste in her mouth. She would be _so sure_ that it was Shinichi behind Conan's mask and when she was proved wrong, it left her deflated. She could create a thousand theories, she could feel it in her gut that it was Shinichi but without solid proof, it was impossible for her to prove that.

She knew how easy it would be to get her proof. She knew that all she needed was fingerprints and a police officer wiling to help, or at least, be easy enough to trick. She had many ways to get her suspicion confirmed. She was surrounded by police officers and detectives and lawyers. The only reason why she hadn't done that was because it was _unethical._ If Shinichi wanted to hide his identity from her, she couldn't stop him from doing that. He had all the right to be wherever he wanted to be and whatever he wanted to do. But she deserved an explanation when he was _staying in her house_ and _lying_ to everybody.

The fact that Shinichi was lying was a huge warning bell for her. He wasn't a liar. The only instances he lied were when somebody's life was at stake and he needed to prevent that person from dying. He also had a bad habit of shielding her. Anything and anybody that could harm her had to pass through Shinichi. That habit of his was both endearing and maddening. She was capable of protecting herself. She could use her brain. She was resourceful. She was _not_ a damsel in distress. But that didn't stop him from trying to protect her.

All of those things combined led her to only one conclusion. That Shinichi was in big trouble. And many people could be in danger. She couldn't help but feel a little betrayed. Didn't Shinichi trust her? Was she really not that strong as she thought herself to be? Was she a liability to him? Was the fact that she was an emotional person preventing him from telling her the truth? Had she done something wrong that she couldn't be trusted?

But then, she knew that Shinichi would try to hide something that bothered him. Whenever there were easy cases, he would babble at lightning speed about them but whenever something big happened that would trouble him, he would try to hide it from her and she let him. Because she knew that somewhere along the line, he _would_ tell her the truth.

So, she swallowed whatever she wanted to say. Sometimes, they would bubble up but she tried her best not to think about it. She treated Conan as her younger brother and she treated Shinichi as her best-friend-turned-into-love-interest, with the hope that he would tell her the truth and the knowledge that he wouldn't.

 **~oOo**

Both her parents were stubborn people. Once they got an idea stuck inside her head, nothing less than a god's intervention could enable either of them to let go of that idea. That applied to their marriage as well. They weren't divorced but lived separately. Both of them cared for each other but all they did was fight and glare at each other. Both of them missed the other but neither of them wanted to admit it. So, Ran took up the mantle for bringing her parents back together. Most of the time, she failed in her plans but sometimes, they were successful. She would enlist Sonoko's and Shinichi's, when he was in his normal form, help and try to get them together. With Shinichi shrun-, _gone,_ Conan would try to help her out sometimes.

So, with that in mind, she had planned one of her subtle get-my-parents together plans. Conan had some things to plot-err, _some plans to play with his friends_ and so he had woken up that morning to cheerfully inform her that he was going to stay at Professor Agasa's and to _have fun, Ran-neechan_ with an innocent smile on his face _._ She snorted when she thought of that. Shinichi could sometimes act so cut-err, _Conan_ could sometimes act so cute. Yes, Conan. She had decided to let Shinichi have his secret and she would play her part of not knowing who he was. She sometimes, and only _sometimes,_ took joy in how he would squirm at uncomfortable situations.

 _Well, he does deserve a punishment for lying to me._

She shook her head slightly to get those thoughts out of her head and concentrated on the upcoming task. Calling her mom to meet her. She would conveniently leave out the fact that Dad was coming with her as well. They would meet. She would see to it that they were being civil to each other. She would make Dad take them in a restaurant and when all would be looking well, she would take off with some excuse or the other to get them alone.

Yes, that was perfect.

So, she towed her father along with her and they picked up her mom. Neither of them looked happy to see the other and both of them looked at her with _I-know-it's-your-idea_ glare but humoured her and they drove towards the restaurant that Ran had carefully picked.

They were bickering, as usual, in the front seat but it was regarding Mom's clothes and how revealing it was. It wasn't revealing. Even, Ran had much more revealing clothes than the ones her Mom was wearing and she knew that Dad was jealous. She smiled a little at how childish they were and looked out the window. The roads looked deserted as the day was starting to end. The sun had almost sunk when she turned her head around saw a black Porsche behind them. The car lurched suddenly as her Dad applied the breaks. She looked in front to see a blue sports car, of some sort, parked haphazardly across the turn of the road. She heard her father scream at the driver of the blue sports car but she was more worried about the black Porsche behind them.

 _Were the people in that car okay?_

She twisted in her seat to see two men come out of the car. One was taller than the other, with unbelievably long silver hair. The one walking behind him was stout and was wearing sunglasses. Both of them wore black from head to toe. And for one split second, she thought that she recognized them. Had she seen those two somewhere? She couldn't recall. Well, whatever. She needed to know whether they were okay or not. They looked unharmed and the car seemed undamaged as well but just to be sure, she opened the car door and started to walk towards the men. She heard her mother say something but by that time, she had almost reached the two men.

She bowed her head in apology and started to explain, "We're so sorry, sir. The car just suddenly came across the road and we apologize if there were any damages."

She raised her head to see the men's reaction and felt a shiver run through her when she looked into the taller man's eyes. They looked so... _dead._ She had, never in her life, seen eyes liked that. And then again, the thought came that she had seen him somewhere. The man with the sunglasses behind him, as well.

She opened her mouth to ask whether they had met each other before when he she heard her father scream. She turned around wildly to see what had happened and felt a hand strike across her neck. The last thing she could see was her mother slumped across the car and her father at a gun point.

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 **A/N: Yep. That happened. I'm evil. Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Little violence. I am nervous about this one. I have to study as well. Ugh.**

 **Unedited.**

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Shinichi had a stomach churning feeling that evening when he was leaving the house. He didn't know what it was but instinct and experience had taught him that he should never try to dismiss that feeling. Half of time that feeling had occurred due to something related to Ran and the half it had to something with the Black Organization. In his wildest dreams, he didn't imagine a day would come when it would be due to both of them combined. His worst nightmares, yes, but he brushed them off, thinking why Ran would get involved with those criminals. He had taken every step, by hook or by crook, to mislead the Black Organization from Mouris' trail.

He had to keep them safe. _He had to._ His sanity was on the line when it came to keeping them safe. Well, to be exact, keeping Ran safe. The only way he knew to do that was by keeping Ran in the dark and away from all things related to them. It petrified him to see her close to danger. Especially the Black Organization danger.

He had found new clues and new members. He knew Gin, Vodka, Chianti, Korn but didn't know their civilian names or about their non-criminal lives. He knew who Vermouth, Bourbon and Kir were. The former was a mystery. He was never able to guess what she would do in a situation. He knew that she favoured him and Ran. He didn't know whether it was a blessing or a curse. The fact that someone, _anyone,_ from that Syndicate knew Ran was something he didn't want to imagine, whether they favoured Ran and Shinichi or not.

Bourbon and Kir were undercover agents, both from different agencies. Bourbon, in Shinichi's opinion, was more dangerous than Kir. He gave off that vibe, that he would do anything and everything to get to his goal. Kir was the one who informed Jodie-sensei and the FBI that something new was happening inside the Organization. And by default, he would come to know as well.

He had come close to finding out about them but he always lost them. It would be either due to someone interrupting his investigation or just by coincidence. Haibara warning him off didn't help either. Shinichi knew that she was hiding more things, he just had the feeling, but he didn't want to push her. He could go on with what he was given and he could do his own investigation as well. He didn't want to bring up bad memories about her past, if he could avoid it. The reaction she had after hearing the Organization could be involved was very telling. She was terrified of them, with good reasons. One day, he knew that she would have to spill everything she knew but he was satisfied with whatever information he was given. After all, he had found many members based on just the little information he had.

He regarded Haibara as his partner. She was someone that worked on same frequency as him. Same could be said about Hattori and Shuichi Akai, or Subaru Okiya, as he was called these days. They worked on almost same mental level. He was grateful to have them but he wanted Haibara and Hattori as safe as possible, so whenever something regarding Black Organization came up, he wanted to be dead sure, no pun intended, before he informed either of them. Dragging them along with him on this dangerous road was something he wanted to avoid.

He scornfully wondered, while walking on the sidewalk, on his way to Professor's home, that when he had become such a hypocrite. He knew that forgiveness would be a long shot when it came to telling the truth to Ran. People around her were privy to the knowledge that she had always hinted at but was always rebuffed from. Still, he hoped to dream about her forgiveness but after that day, even that hope was dashed.

 **~oOo~**

When Ran woke up, she could feel her head bursting and that pain made her moan. She felt something constricted around her ankles and wrists as well as her chest. She looked around her in confusion. What had happened?

She could remember her dad driving on a deserted road. Ah, yes, she had reserved a table for them in a restaurant that was a little separated from the town. Dad was driving and he and Mom were bickering. A blue sports car had popped up while they were on a turn and had stopped horizontally on the road. She remembered seeing the black Porsche and coming out of the car. She swallowed roughly as she felt her temple pounding away. What had happened next?

She faintly remembered seeing two men completely dressed in black. She recalled having the feeling that she had met them somewhere. She had turned around when she heard a scream. Who had screamed? And then all she remembered was nothing.

 _Somebody had screamed, who was it? Where are Mom and Dad? Are they okay?_ She could feel herself panicking.

When she felt conscious and calm enough, she breathed in.

 _Alright, don't panic. Keep your head cool and calm, Ran. You can do it._

She closed her eyes and breathed in again.

 _Okay, I am relatively calm._

 _Now, open your eyes and methodically take in everything. Notice every little detail. Every little detail helps._

Ironically, the logical voice in her head sounded like Shinichi and blindly, she listened to it.

She opened her eyes and found herself blinded by the strong light that was inside the little room. She could see a metallic door in front of her and one large TV hung on the wall she was facing. The room was sterile white and didn't look like there were any methods of escape. There were white tiles on the floor and the walls were painted white. No tile was out of place. There was not an inch of wall that looked like it had a hidden door or something that she could use. Maybe behind the TV, she could find something but the way she was tied, she knew it was impossible to move.

More importantly, her parents were not there in the room with her. She could feel her breathing speed up when she noticed that. _Oh god, where are Mom and Dad?_

A litany of _Stop panicking, be calm_ reverberated in her brain and she followed that suggestion. She breathed in and let out her breath in a puff. Wait, her mouth wasn't wrapped up. Her eyebrows furrowed. No kidnapper would be this stupid. And what she remembered from seeing that tall man with dead blue eyes, she knew that he wouldn't make such a mistake. Those eyes had looked like the eyes of a well seasoned murderer.

That thought almost sent her hyperventilating but she knew that she had to be smart and quick. Every second counted. She had to keep herself levelheaded.

 _Okay, let's see._

 _My whole body is almost wrapped onto a chair. My ankles, my wrists and my chest are tied. So, I can't use my karate. I can use my head to headbutt across the temple or something but I wouldn't be able to run away._

 _Alright, next, the ropes around me look very strong and they are tied in a complicated manner as well. I shouldn't waste my energy on trying to free myself. That would be counterproductive._

 _Okay, my mouth is free. I can scream but that could be dangerous as well. Those men in black could be waiting for me to wake up. Moreover, I can't hear anything going on outside. We were on a deserted road, maybe we are held in a cabin completely isolated from the rest of the world. Or maybe the room was soundproof or something._

 _Damn it. What are my escape routes? There is nothing I can use. And I can't defend myself from them considering the way I am tied._

She let out a groan of frustration at that thought.

 _At least_ _, I am not hurt. It doesn't look like they did anything apart from knocking me out. That's a plus. I will have to roll with the punches in this situation._

 _I can guess the reasons why we are in this situation though. Mom's a lawyer, Dad's a detective. There are people who hold grudges against them but I've never seen those people around Dad. Mom doesn't discuss about her clients, so I don't know about anything about them. Maybe they hold a grudge against Mom?_

 _Where ARE Mom and Dad, anyway? Why did they separate us? This doesn't look good._

Just as she thought that, the TV came to life. The screen was divided into two parts and she could see her parents tied up in the middle of the room. Their rooms were the same as hers. Walls were painted white, the floor was tiled white. It looked like they were in the beginning of some horror movie.

As she focused on the image of her parents on the TV, she gasped. She could see that they were injured. Badly. There was dried blood on their foreheads. A huge bruise had formed above her mother's closed eyes. Her clothed were soaked red. Her glasses had cracked. Her lips were cracked open. And if she squinted just right, she could see a thin slice of red line across her mother's neck. The only indication that she was alive was that her chest was heaving, and even that looked painful. With every breath her mother took, a sob like sound came out and that terrified Ran. If there were internal injuries, her mother needed to be checked out before it was too late.

Her father, if possible, was in even worse condition than her mother. His torso was bare and had red angry slashes across his abdomen, as if someone had whipped him with a belt. There was blood coming out of his mouth. There was a bump on his temple. His pants were soaked red. He was desperately breathing in for oxygen but what alarmed her the most was a man standing behind her father.

The slender, silver haired man, who was dressed in black from head to toe, smiled as if he knew she was awake. Ran knew that she should be sensible but seeing her parents almost on the verge of death left no room for calculated thinking. There was just one thought inside her head. She had to get her parents out alive. She had to.

Tears started to gather in her eyes and she choked on whatever she wanted to say, which in retrospect, left her some time to gather herself.

 _Stop panicking. It's alright. Think clearly. Don't panic. Remember everything and anything that Shinichi or Dad has taught you about hostage situation. Okay. Okay. Take a deep breath in._

She took a deep breath in but it seemed to lodge inside her lungs. She couldn't take her eyes off her parents almost dead bodies.

 _No, no, no, Ran. They are not almost dead. They are almost alive. Come on, you are an optimistic girl. Don't think that way. You have a chance to get them out alive. Now, relax and take a deep breath in._

She again tried to breathe in but she couldn't. Fear was running through her veins. Her eyes were blurred with tears and she could feel herself hyperventilating. Her whole body was shaking. She tried to calm herself down, to stop the tears from flowing by rollling her eyes heavenward. She had to get her parents out alive. She had to. That was becoming her mantra. That was the only thing that mattered. Funny how she didn't even think about herself.

She steeled herself and let herself have a few moments of serenity.

 _Okay, now your head's clear. Good. Be confident. Try to find out anything that can help you. You can do it, Ran._

She let a breath out her nose and looked straight into the camera that was lodged in the TV. It was now or never.

"What do you want from us?" Ran asked in a voice so clear, so unafraid that even she shocked herself. This could work.

The man just simply smiled at him and it creeped her out. He seemed to radiate evil and it didn't ease her mind that he was standing behind her father.

"Good evening, Mouri-san," he said, "It seems like you have woken up from your nap. That's good, or else _we_ would have to wake you up and I'm sure that by now, you can see that it would have not been pretty." He took a gun out from his coat and with the back of it, lolled her father's head.

Ran's temper flared up and she screamed, "Don't touch him. Don't you _dare_ touch him." She felt invincible. The adrenalin was now pumping through her veins and she was thankful for that. Being a scaredy cat wouldn't help anybody.

She could see the black clothed man's eyes gleam, as if he had struck a jackpot. Whatever. She wasn't backing down. He chuckled lightly and said, "So much spirit for such a young girl. Now, Mouri-san, you can probably guess why you are here." As he said that, a woman with tattoos entered the room her mother was captured in. She let her eyes dance towards the screen that showed her mother and she took in what was going on. The short haired, tattooed lady stopped behind her mother and just stood there. Ran stared at the screen intently, trying to gauge whether she was going to hurt her Mom or not. The lady seemed to know what she was thinking and lightly said, "Oh, dear, you don't have to worry. I won't hurt your mother." She paused for a bit and then added, "Yet."

Ran's jaw locked and she wondered in what ways she would make these people pay who have hurt her parents. She didn't know how she was going to do it, she just knew that these people were going to pay for what they had done to her parents.

"Now, Mouri-san, let's talk, shall we?" The man said and she tilted her head towards him. "What do you know about Kir?"

What? What was he talking about? Kir? What's that? Her brows furrowed in confusion and she said, "I don't know what you are talking about." Before she could even complete her sentence fully, the man's hand grabbed her father by his hair and pulled at it roughly. He shoved a gun in her Dad's face, all traces of amusement gone. He looked like an assassin on a mission. Her father groaned painfully and Ran let out a scream for him to stop. This was turning into a nightmare.

"Now, Mouri-san, you know that good people shouldn't lie. We know that you shadow your father in most of your cases. We know that you are a karate champion. We also know that you are surrounded by police and detectives. Do you honestly expect us to believe that you do not know what your father has been involved in?" he said. His voice was calm and composed, as if he did this everyday. And maybe he did.

But that answered some questions.

 _Okay, so it's got something to do with Dad. But I don't remember any case in which someone or something called Kir was involved in._

She said in a voice that rivaled his, "I am not lying. I have no idea what you are talking about. There wasn't any case where this Kir was involved." She heard a crunch sound coming from her mother's screen and saw the lady land a punch in her mother's abdomen.

Ran's body jerked instinctively, screaming out for her mother, "Oh god, stop, please." She let out an involuntary sob, all her courage gone. Oh god, what were they going to do her parents. The lady punched her mother again. This time across her mother's face. "Please, stop." She let out in a hoarse voice, her voice turning raw from screaming. "Please, please, please, stop." She swiftly said, "I swear, " tears were flowing across her face, her whole body was tense, begging to be let go, she needed to get her parents safe. She continued tearfully, "I swear, I swear, I don't know what or who Kir is," a sob burst through her again. "Please let them go. Don't hurt them. Please."

There was silence after that. All that could be heard was Ran's gut wrenching tears and her nonsensical begging of "Please, stop" and "Don't hurt them."

She didn't feel brave. She didn't feel calm. She didn't feel anything that she should feel in order for them to successfully get out of this hell.

She felt defeated.

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 **A/N: I will skip some of the things in the next chapter. I don't want to go into the details of what happened while they were kidnapped. You'll get a gist but that's that. I don't wanna write something that sad. Hope you liked it. Please, review? Was it good? It didn't feel that good to me.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. As some of you may know my medical entrance exams are going to start and I have been giving mock tests, so the updates are all sporadic. If I have not responded to your reviews, I am sorry, know that I read all of them and they make me warm and fuzzy, even though this story doesn't make you feel that way. You can always check out my other story for warm and fuzzy, but yeah, this one's definitely not.**

 **Anyway, the aftermath. I will be skipping some of the details but you'll get the rough idea of what had happened while they were kidnapped. Angst warning ahead.**

 **I hope this makes sense. I did this one in a hurry. It's not very emotional as you'll see who the main character of the chapter is but I will be hitting the feels train the next chapter. So be warned.**

 **It's unedited.**

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There weren't many things that could shake Vermouth. Well, except for two people. Mouri Ran just happened to be one of them.

Vermouth had lived many lives, wore many masks. There was nothing that could reach her and make her rethink about the world around her. The Black Organization was her safe haven. To a normal person with ideal values and morality, that sounded horrific but for a person who had lived a life as tough as hers, being a Black Organization operative was a child's play. All she had to was follow orders and she could do whatever she wanted after that order was carried out. That couldn't be said about other members. She reckoned it was because of her relationship with the Boss but she also knew that she was good at what she did. Being a killer wasn't anything new to her. It was just a way of life that she had chosen after going through a nightmarish ordeal. Nothing good had happened in her life. Nothing was fair. People who deserved to live and be happy weren't. People who deserved to rot in jail were thriving in a coveted position at the top of world's money hungry food web. There was no _good_ person. Everybody looked out for themselves. There was a hidden agenda behind every act of kindness.

So when a fifteen year old girl saved her from dying, her first reaction was suspicion. Why the hell would anybody save the person who was, just a second ago, trying to kill them? Was the little girl insane? Nobody in their right mind would do that. And then moments later, a boy came to help her. Two fifteen year olds were trying to save a murderer. Vermouth couldn't decide whether they were brave or completely stupid. But she wasn't stupid, so when she got the chance, she pulled herself up and back to safety. Well, relative safety, seeing that she was currently bleeding while she was hiding behind a mask. The girl had fainted and looking at her stirred something in Vermouth that she didn't want or had the time to acknowledge yet. So she asked the boy what was the reason behind them rescuing her. The answer that she was given was something she knew that she would never forget.

After living such a harsh life, she found solace in two teenagers, both courageous and both kind in their own ways. Mouri Ran and Kudo Shinichi. Those two had become bright spots in her life's darkness. She had a soft spot for both of them. She didn't try to break her promises when it came to Kudo Shinichi's or as he was now known as, Edogawa Conan's involvement in Black Organization's affairs. Some part of her acknowledged that she _wanted_ him to succeed. But that was just a tiny part. She liked having a mental sparring battle with the shrunken detective. He would turn out to be fatal for the Organization and she liked knowing that. She was _proud_ of that fact. That she knew someone as brilliant as him. A teenager who could bring a dangerous group down to its knees if he was provided with the correct information. She felt _something_ when he was involved and that notion was so absurd and it felt so out of place for her, that she enjoyed it. Feeling emotions was something she had given up on. She was methodical in her approach. So when Edogawa Conan was involved, she knew it would be a battle of wits and adrenalin. Vermouth respected him, which had never happened before. She didn't feel anything for anybody but this boy had earned her respect and she would do anything to keep him from harm but she didn't want him to know that.

Mouri Ran was a different subject though. It seemed she was a different subject for many people. Kudo Shinichi, Cool Guy as she had nicknamed him, being the first and foremost of those people. There was a reason why Vermouth had named her Angel. It was because she was. Even after seeing grim murders, being hurt and almost dying, she didn't change. She still saw good when it was almost impossible to find. She wasn't naive by any means and she was a realist but Ran had something that was so inherently good and pure about her that she was almost other worldly to someone like Vermouth. Because how could anybody be like that? Where was the cynical mindset that came along with being around killers everyday? Where was the distrust? Where was darkness inside her heart that should be residing after what she had gone through in her life? Vermouth respected Mouri Ran for reasons she didn't respect herself. She scrambled to look for something good whom the society had deemed to be bad where Vermouth just saw the bad. Vermouth knew that a person like Ran was strong enough to handle what was thrown her way but that didn't stop her from trying to protect Angel. She could see the logic behind Cool Guy's reason for keeping Angel away from harm because those reasons were hers as well. It was ironic how two people from two different parts of the spectrum had this one thing in common. Protecting Angel at all costs. Both Cool Guy and her agreed silently on that. She was out of limits for both of them. Vermouth acknowledged to herself that while she was ready to do anything to keep Cool Guy safe, she would willingly put herself and her loyalty to the Boss on line if it came to keeping Angel away from harm.

So when she was made aware of the news that the Mouri family had been kidnapped after almost a day, she wasted no time. She knew Gin was involved. That man had been suspecting the Sleeping Detective after Kir's case and while he had more or less promised to stay away from the Mouris, she knew that once a seed was planted in Gin's head, it would fester until he was able to do what he wanted with that seed. She knew informing Cool Guy would be dubious at best. He lost his cool temporarily when it came to Angel. She was a trained assassin while Cool Guy was just a brilliant teenager with no official training on how to handle a negotiation with cold blooded murderers. She decided to play solo on this one. She was going to save Angel by any means possible.

 **~oOo~**

 _12 hours later_

Vermouth was in a hospital. She, who avoided going to any official building without a disguise and a cover story ready, was willingly ready to sit down in those godawful seats just to hear something, anything good from the doctors. She had failed terribly.

Once she knew where the Mouris were being held captive, she knew that she would have to do some fast thinking. How in the world was she going to offer an excuse that would sound plausible and let Gin realize that the Mouris were not any threat to the Organization. She knew how Gin worked though. He didn't like to waste time. If he was assured that the Sleeping Detective was digging in their business, there was no stopping the man from killing the Mouris and even if he wasn't sure of the detective's involvement, Gin would kill them because now the Mouris were implicated. They were kidnapped. Mouri Kogoro was a detective. There was no way he wouldn't try to find out who the culprit behind the whole ordeal was. This was reason enough to silence the whole family who was in some way or the other attached to the law enforcement. It was genius in a horrible way. If something didn't seem right for Gin, he would find a way to take that thing out and right now, the Sleeping Detective's involvement was buzzing at him.

She had hoped against hope that she would find them relatively safe. Relatively safe meaning that they would be in a condition where they could be treated or operated to bring them back to life. But when she arrived at the small house in the middle of the forest at the outskirts of Tokyo, she knew that hoping was in vain.

The house looked deserted. There was no human being around. She knew how stealthily Gin worked but even then there should have been some kind of vehicle around seeing as the Mouri family were kidnapped in the night in the middle of the road.

 _Maybe he had disposed them off._

 _Who cares? I have to go get Angel. This doesn't look good though. It's as if nobody is in here._

There were not many things that could shake Vermouth but once she had entered the house, she knew the image was never going to leave her head. The small house was eerily quiet and by now, she was sure that her co-members had left the house. She knew that it could mean only one thing. They had done what they had wanted to. So, with her heart in her throat, she walked down the narrow corridor. She wanted to call out their names but her voice was stuck. She had never felt fear like that. The ironic part was that she wasn't even afraid of herself. She was afraid to find Angel. She knew that at best, Angel would have been terribly hurt and at worst, she would be dead. And knowing that Angel wasn't a part of the world anymore would shake Vermouth to her core. Then, she would truly be convinced that there was no God. There was nothing as good karma. There was nothing good in the world, if Angel didn't live.

Once she saw a door, she stopped in front of it. The whole house was painted white inside. It was eerie how white it was but once she looked down, she knew why the house was painted white. It was because the red of the blood looked horrifying once it was spilt on the white floor. Vermouth took a breath in and with shaky hands opened the door to the room that was brightly lit and instantly wished she hadn't.

There were two bodies completed covered in red chained to the chairs. She took a step in and stepped on the puddle of blood that had pooled in the room. She walked in further inside the room, praying that these two bodies weren't the people she was looking for. Maybe the intel was wrong. Maybe this was the wrong house. Because anything would be better than seeing Mouri Kogoro and Eri looking like this.

 _But would it? If this wasn't the right one, then this means that Gin would have more time with them. There is nothing scarier than the thought of Gin around Angel._

She knew right away that she needed to call the hospital. So without any hesitation she took her phone out and dialled the number. Once she had informed them what had happened in a voice that completely betrayed the chaos that she was suffering from inside, she walked towards the chairs and raised her hand to check their pulses.

She knew, she knew that there was almost no chance of them being alive. There was too much blood in that room. The whole floor was painted red and there were splashes of blood on the wall. But she still naively thought they would be alive. They weren't. There was no pulse, no movement, nothing that could even give her hope that they were alive.

Looking at their bodies, corpses now, she knew that they were beaten to death. There didn't seem to be any bullet holes on either of their bodies, _corpses_. But there was so much blood that she couldn't be sure.

 _Oh god, what have they done? How am I going to explain all this to Angel?_

She didn't let herself imagine the possibility that Angel might be dead. That was out of the question. She would find Angel alive.

She turned on her heels and sprinted out the door. Every second that passed just made her more anxious. She needed to find Angel before she lost her mind. She ran around the house but couldn't find any more doors. Just as she had reached the end of the hallway, she found a second door.

There was something to be said about that moment. The unshakable Vermouth had never, in her life, felt so terrified. Is that what happens when one starts caring about somebody? The protectiveness, the feeling of defeat, feeling happy when the other was happy? She wasn't sure she liked it. Emotions messed with the logical head. And right now, they were hitting full force.

She rolled her eyes heavenward, praying to a god she didn't believe in, but was willing to offer anything, so that Angel was okay. She rested her hand on the doorknob and swallowed roughly. Her heartbeat, which was already accelerated, seemed to double up. She closed her eyes and let a breath out.

 _Time to find out the truth._

The doorknob turned and the light that shone brightly seemed to converge on one spot where a chair with some clothes on it was kept. There were no signs of any human being. The room was pristine white. There was no blood on the floor nor on the walls. That didn't bring relief at all because if Angel wasn't here then where was she? And why did those clothes looked like women's clothes? Thoughts after thoughts ran through her mind at lightning speed, each getting more and more graphic with what could have happened and why there was women's clothes on the chair.

She stepped in the room and walked towards the chair. She needed to know if those clothes were Angel's size. Because if they were and that bastard Gin had touched her, there was no way in hell he was going to stay alive. Black Organization be damned, anybody who hurt Angel was going to have to pay. Preferably with their tortured deaths, like the ones Angel's parents had to suffer.

With anger replacing fear, she felt invincible. She knew that there was going to be bloodshed and she was so ready for it. She just needed to confirm about the clothes and then all hell was going to break loose. As soon as she touched the clothes though, she could feel something solid beneath those clothes.

 _Oh no, oh no, oh no, this can not be happening. Oh god._

And there she was. Beneath all those clothes was Angel. A seven year old Angel.

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 **A/N: This was tough. I just wrote it down and hope it makes sense. My exams have started. Every week there is one. And I wanted to get this out of the way. I don't know when I'll update next. Let me know what you thought? Hope to hear from you guys again! And don't kill me, if this chapter made you want to kill me.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This is one of the chapters on which I based the story on. Shinichi's a bit cruel in this one. You'll understand why. I hope you like it. Remember HEA for ShinRan. Review and let me know what you guys thought.**

 **THIS IS A RE-UPLOAD. I EDITED SOME INCORRECTIONS. And right now, I'm writing the next chapter. So, you guys can prepare for that.**

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Never in his life had Shinichi thought that he would screw things up to such an extent that Ran would have to be hospitalized. And it wasn't officially Ran who was hospitalized. It was a shrunken version of her.

Just 24 hours prior to this, he was talking to Ran, who was bllissfully unaware of what dangers surrounded her. Shinichi had figured that if she didn't know, she wouldn't be implicated. How foolish it all seemed now.

When Conan had called Ran almost forty six times because she wasn't picking up her phone, he never would have guessed what had happened. To Shinichi's mind, he had successfully meandered the Mouris out of Black Organization's way. Maybe he should have been prepared for anything and everything.

He admitted to himself, that when Ran was involved, he would get a little scatter brained. Things that were logical, didn't seem to be. Things that he should do, didn't seem like the correct course of action to take. And that was the root of the problem. He second guessed. He thought and thought until the situation was so muddled that it was difficult to make out heads or tails of it.

He should have told her the truth. He shouldn't have listened to what the others had said. He should not have lied to the most important person. He should have confirmed her theories. He should have gone with his first instinct. The instinct that had never steered him wrong. That instinct which almost made him tell Ran the truth the first day Conan had met her.

There were many things he should have said and done. He always consoled himself by saying that he would tell her the truth once all this mess was over. He figured that Ran would be the least suspicious person if the Black Organization caught on his trial. But hoe did he figure that? In a purely objective sense, wouldn't she be implicated first? Never mind her relationship with Kudo Shinichi, the ace detective that Gin thought was dead, what about her father? Professor Agasa had suggested Shinichi to take shelter in her house, saying that he would be a step closer to finding out about them if he lived in a detective agency and it had payed off. He was a step closer to finding out about the Organinzation but he had never imagined that Ran would be the price to pay for that.

It all felt surreal, that she, who didn't have any idea how big of a mess her young charge was involved in, would have to lose her parents. Ran's parents were dead. Just the thought of that made his heart twist. It was so unfair. The Mouri family had done nothing wrong. They had just taken in a liar and manipulative detective who thought that he was untouchable. The only crime they had done was to take care of Edogawa Conan and to trust a little seven year old whose parents had left him in Japan to stay abroad.

He had always wondered whether Ran would forgive him for lying but now, he knew that forgiveness was a thing of past. This was unforgivable. Shinichi had let Ran to her demise. He had brought her pain and heartache and betrayal. He had voluntarily hurt her in the worst way possible. How hypocritical it all was. He was the one Ran looked for when she was sad, he was the one Ran looked for when she was hurt, he was the one who looked after her and made her feel better after she had lost her karate match. He was the one who did little things that didn't need to be spoken to make her happy. He was willing to die for her but now, he was the one killing her.

The world around seemed blurred. He knew he was in a hospital. He knew that Haibara was somewhere huddled in a corner with Professor Agasa becuase Vermouth had been the one to inform them about the Mouri family and she was sitting on one of the chairs with a disguise on. It was not a perfect disguise that he had come to expect from the master evader and that just signified how rattled Vermouth was. He knew Okiya-san was outside informing his fellow F.B.I. agents what had happened. He ruefully wondered what was taking him so long. There was just one sentence to be spoken. That Ochhan and Ran's mother were dead. It shouldn't have been such a hard thing to say considering how calculated Okiya-san was.

And he didn't know why Haibara looked like that. She looked like she had lost a member of her already dead family. When had she become so invested in Ran? Professor Agasa looked heartbroken as well and he didn't understand why. Weren't these two the first members to get aboard on _Don't Tell Ran Anything_ ship. Weren't they the people who had time after time drilled into his head how catastrophic it would be if she knew the truth? Then why the hell were they acting like that? Maybe it was a sense of failure. They probably thought that their experiment had failed and just lamenting on that.

A part of him knew how absurd those thoughts were but he didn't care. He was heartbroken and it didn't matter who suffered along with him. It was undeniable he needed to repent the most but misery loved company and right then, he didn't care one bit who he was going to hurt with his razor sharp words. He had been logical and level headed all this time. Even after hearing Ran cry and act like Shinichi's disappearance wasn't hurting her, he remained relatively fine. In his heart, he believed that it would all turn out okay. He had never felt like Ran not being in his life was an option. That was unimaginable. There was no Shinichi without Ran. They made a whole. He was logic and she was emotion. He was dry sarcasm and she was happy go lucky. They completed each other. He needed her to drag him out of the cynicism and she needed him to be her moral compass.

 _They_ had no right to look like they were the ones who felt like a knife was stuck in their chest and that breathing seemed impossible. None of them did. Nobody knew what Shinichi and Ran and Conan had to go through each and every day to have some semblence of peace. They deserved whatever vitriol he was going to shove their way becuase it was their fault. They made him feel like there was no other option than lying. They made him feel like he was doing the right thing. They had made him into a person whom he detested the most. A liar.

"I don't understand why you are looking like that, Haibara." Conan's seven year old had never felt so cold. "Weren't you the one who said that the Organization didn't leave any trail behind? How is any of it a surprise to you? You know better than anybody what happens when somebody crosses the Organization's path."

Vermouth looked unbliknigly at Cool Guy from her seat. She smirked when she saw the fire in his eyes. Poor boy had lost his cool, like she had just a few hours ago. She turned her head to see how Sherry would react and she didn't disappoint.

Professor Agasa was about to jump at Ai-chan's defense when Ai, herself said, "I understand what you are going through, Edogawa-kun but you don't have to attack me. It was a decision that you made when you decided to lie. We just suggessted that you do so becuase it felt like the correct way to handle this situation."

 _Oh, the poor girl doesn't know how to handle it. She truly is a scientist, giving him facts when he doesn't want to hear the facts. Cool Guy knows the facts so well they are choking him right now._

Conan had never felt anger like that and he knew how unfair he was being and how right Haibara was but saying that didn't make him feel better. He needed to feel better. He needed to not feel like a killer. And so, he bursted out, "Suggested? _Suggested?!_ Every time, every damned time the Organization was invloved you and Professor would team up and drill into my stupid head how dangerous it all was. How I was going to bring them to the Organization's doorstep. Well, guess what?" He stalked closer to them and continued, "I did. I brought them to their doorstep. And you know what? I didn't even need to tell Ran the truth. So, thank you, Haibara. You and your damned pill took my life and now it has taken Ran's and while it is okay to screw with me," his voice turned into a heated whisper, "It is _not okay_ if you screw with Ran. She would have been safe if she was made aware how dangerous it all was." By now, he was inches away from Haibara's face, who looked fear stricken. She had never seen Kudo-kun so unhinged and it scared her how intense he was. "I am the major reason why her life has turned into hell but don't think that you get scott free." He looked up at Professor Agasa and said, "Or you either."

He walked away, leaving both of them stunned. It was true that they felt guilty whenever Ran looked like she was missing Shinichi but that was rare. She always had a smile on her face and while she would get disappointed for a few seconds, she would cheer up in a matter of seconds. To them, keeping everybody physically safe mattered a whole lot than just a girl's emotional reassurance. But what they had failed to recognize was that it wasn't just a girl. And now, all of them were paying for it.

 **~oOo~**

In a few hours, everybody who had ever lied to Ran had congregated at the hospital. His parents had wanted to console him but he had shook off his mother and was standing on the edge of the door behind which Ran was sleeping. The doctors had given the verdict. Mouri Kogoro and Mouri Eri were no longer alive. The little seven year old girl was unharmed and when the lead doctor said that, Shinichi couldn't help but let out a dry laugh. Unharmed was the last thing Ran was. This was going to destroy her if it aleady hadn't. He was itching to see Ran. He needed to see her with his own eyes. He mustered up all the masks that he had worn to this day and spoke in a childlike voice, "Can I go see my friend?"

The doctor smiled at the cute kid with glasses and said, "Sure you can. She's awake. I'm sure she wants to see her friend." Conan didn't have the heart to tell him how wrong he was. The doctor continued, this time directing what he was saying to others who were waiting outside Ran's door. "Her vitals look okay. She wasn't physically hurt in any way..." and that was enough for Shinichi. Now, that he was assured that Ran was fine, he entered the room and closed the door.

She was huddled up in a sheat, on a bed that was too large for her seven year old frame. She was staring up unblikingly at the ceiling. Her chest was moving with every breath she took and for a person, who couldn't be more than four feet tall, she scared Shinichi in a way that Black Organization could and would never manage to.

When she heard the door open, she sat up to see who had entered the room. Once her eyes locked on Conan's, Shinichi felt a thrill run down his spine. She was fine. Oh god, she was okay. He knew that this wasn't even close to okay. She had been shrunk. Her parents had died. She might know his truth. But at that moment, he didn't care. Ran was alive. He had never, ever felt the need to cry like he did then. His breath came in short spurts and he leaned against the wall and took off his glasses. He didn't have the energy to lie to her. And he swore to himself that whatever happened from now on, he was not going to leave her. He had been given the chance to make things right. He wouldn't lie and tell her everything her heart desired. She deserved that at least. She had already been hurt a lot and he couldn't do that to her again.

"Conan-kun?" Ran's husky voice seemed like music to his ears but the name hadn't been correct and for the first time in a long time, he told her the truth.

It felt endless. He told her about the night he left her at the Tropical Land. He told her how he had tricked and deceived her. He told her how Sleeping Kogoro was born. He told her how he called her as Shinichi. He told her about the Black Organization and how deep he was in it and how she was so close to it as well. He knew that he was a man waiting for a death sentence by the time he was finished. He had basically admitted to crimes that could possibly send a normal civillian to jail. A false identity being the tip of the iceberg that was Kudo Shinichi's life.

And all Ran did was stare blankly at him. He felt like a criminal confessing his crimes. Now he knew how those people felt when he cornered them to tell the truth. And he hated it. He hated knowing that he had done something in life that could warrant such a level of shame. In his quest to survive and disclose crimes, he had become the epitome of what he was fighting against. It was a tough truth to face. That he was not unblemishable. He now didn't have the right to talk about truth and justice and law because he was going against those things every second he was alive. Ran bearing witness to this horrible shame was a proverbial punch in the gut.

He knew that Ran idolized him for his integrity and honesty. He was shattering everything she knew. He was responsible for her parents death. He was responsible for her shrunken size. He was responsible for destroying what she knew and held dear. He was her murderer. Maybe not the literal murderer but he was, in his mind, as close to a murderer as he could be.

Ran didn't react for several minutes. That bitter epiphany was eating at him. Vermouth and him were similar when it came to Ran. The need to protect her from any harm and any pain was in his bones. In the past, those harm and pain was physical and he could kick it out of Ran's life or at least make her feel better. But this Black Organization situation was something he now realized, was unescapable. Knowing what he knew now, he wanted to laugh at his old self. How stupid and egotistical his old self was. How could he have even thought of getting out of this unscatathed? This was a lose-lose situation. And he was about to lose the person whom he respected and loved the most. She would have every right to do so.

He anxiously looked at Ran, who stared back at him with an unemotional mask. This made him flinch. But he resolutely held his ground and right then and there, he made a decision. He was not going to leave her. Even if Ran decided she didn't want him in her life, he was not going to leave her. Because Ran was alone now. She had no one to fall back on. Just him and Sonoko. He knew she would prefer Sonoko over him after knowing what an asshole he was but he would support her from the sidelines if it came down to that. He didn't want Ran's life to be shrouded over by darkness. If she wanted a punching bag, he would be there. If she wanted to scream, he would be there until her throat turned raw. He would be there to pick up the pieces of Ran's life. Until he knew Ran was safe and happy, he would be there with her, willing to listen to any vitriol she was going to send his way.

He was willing to break for her. Just as she had for him.

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 **A/N: Wow, this came really easily to me, so you guys get two updates so close. Anyway, I haven't proofread it or whatever, so all mistakes are mine. On another not, this story hit more than 1, 700 views, so thank you for that. It is great to see your reviews when I'm on a break from my studies. Do review and tell me what you thought. Ran's reaction is gonna be in the next chapter and I hope you'll like how I imagined she would react.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Here's the next one! I tried to get back into writing. Hope you like it! Review to let me know. I've been missing some of my usual reviewers. Hope you aren't getting bored by the story.**

 **And thank you for your condolences and for your patience and love for the story to those who do review, follow or favourite this story!**

 **All mistakes are mine.**

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Ran was disconnected. She could see, hear and sense everything that was going around her. She knew that Con- _Shinichi_ , had just told her the whole truth. He had confirmed all her suspicions and told her about the Black Organization. He didn't even leave Ai-chan's involvement, though she figured that he didn't want to tell her that but after being shackled down by all the lies, he couldn't stop when the truth blurted out. She knew all this, but she didn't comprehend it. A part of her brain was still stuck in that white house, watching her parents getting tortured but she was coherent enough to ask one important question.

She opened her mouth to ask, "Where-", her voice was stuck and she cleared her throat, she could feel how raw her throat was from screaming, "Where are my parents?" She had woken up alone in a hospital bed and after looking around the room, couldn't see either her mother or father. She had a sinking feeling that they were hurt terribly. She had personally seen on that damned TV screen how they had been tortured. She wanted to see them. She needed to know if they were relatively okay or not.

As soon as the words came out, she could see Shinichi's face fall and a part of hope that she was holding on faded.

She struggled to sit up on the bed and Shinichi stepped forward to help her but she held her hand up to stop him and stopped short when she saw how small her hand was. She remembered being fed something and after hearing Shinichi's story, she had an idea what she was fed. At that time, she was out of her mind to even register that the long haired blonde man had made her swallow some pill.

Well, at least she had some answers now as to what had happened to her.

She inclined her back on the pillow behind her, too tired and exhausted to sit without a support and asked again in a clear voice, "Where are my parents, Shinichi?"

Shinichi had no idea how to answer that. He had thought that she knew that her parents were not alive anymore and he didn't want to be the bearer of that news. If she didn't hate him right now fo outright lying to her, she would absolutely despise him if he told her that her parents were dead. His whole reason for lying was becuase he wanted her and the Mouris safe. It was a bitter pill to swallow that all of that was for naught.

"Ran...", he said, "Ran, they are not here anymore." It gutted him to say the words and he knew he was being ambiguous but he himself couldn't believe that Kogoro and Eri weren't alive. For the past few months that he had stayed with Ran and Kogoro, he had felt at home. They took care of each other and while Kogoro was brash and irritated Shinichi sometimes, he knew that the old man had looked out for Conan and for all intents and purposes, treated him as a member of the Mouri family. Ran's house felt like his home. He had to play a role but he felt safe there. Seeing Ran and Kogoro bicker and do normal everyday things brought peace to his over-working mind. Seeing Eri and Kogoro and Ran together was a balm to his hurt soul. That was one family that loved each other even though they didn't say it out loud.

If their death hurt him this much, he knew that Ran would be devastated.

Ran'r eye brows wrinkled and she muttered, "Not here... then, where are they, Shinichi?" She decided that she needed to see them. It was no use asking questions. She would see how they were for herself. She might be this small but she would take care of her parents, until they were alright. She hadn't felt any additional pain except for her throat. She knew she was okay. Now, she just needed to see her parents and then everything will be fine.

She started to climb out of the bed and Shinichi rushed to help her. Without any conscious decision, she snapped, "Don't touch me!"

Shinichi stopped abruptly and let his hands fall. He tried to mask the hurt but he didn't know if he was successful or not.

Ran could see that had hurt him but that was almost an instictual response after suffering through the last fourty eight years. And as instinctual as her harsh words were, so was the urge to make Shinichi feel better.

She hated herself for that. He was the reason why she was in a situation like this. She had every right to curse him and kick him out of his life for all the lies and hurt that he had inflicted but she couldn't find it in herself to. Did that make her a weak person?

She shook her head to clear those thoughts away. It wasn't the right time to think about that. She needed to see her parents.

When her feet touched the ground, she stepped forward towards Shinichi, who stood frozen, staring at her. After taking a huge breath, she took his hands in hers and said, "I am sorry, Shinichi. I shouldn't have snapped like that. I just... I need to see Mom and Dad, okay? Shinich, where are they?"

He had no idea how to respond to that. Her eyes were oddly blank and it seemed like she was working on auto-pilot. He couldn't even begin to tell her how absolutely ridiculous her apology was. If anything, he was the guilty one. He needed to lay out all his cards. Whatever her decision would be, he would support Ran. That was unquestionable. He squeezed her hand and looked down at their clasped hands, wondering how could he say those words to her.

He decided not to lie. Ran deserved better than his half-hearted attempt at saying the truth. He would make it clear what his decision had brought her.

"Ran... they are dead."

For a few seconds, there was no reaction from her. He looked up at her face and it broke his heart to see tears come out of her eyes. He moved forward to hug her, offering any sort of comfort that he could at the moment. It was the least he could do.

She shook in his embrace, finally letting go of the last shred of hope she had.

Ran knew, she knew, they were dead. She had seen how badly they were beaten. She had seen for herself Mom and Dad bleed. She knew that losing that amount of blood was fatal. She knew that there was a very, very tiny chance that they would be alive but like a fool, she was willing to take the chance. Anything, absolutely anything was better than this truth. This reality was hard to face, so she didn't. She had convinced herself that they were alive. That they were just badly hurt and would be okay with her care.

She had outright rejected the possibility that they wouldn't be alive and well, which was stupid. With all the hurt they had gone through, even if they had made out alive, they would have gotten life lasting wounds. But she would have been okay with that. At least, they would be here with her.

Shinichi's words broke the illusion that she had harboured and a part of her mind whsipered visciously, _It's all his fault. He brought this tragedy on you._

 _No, that's not true. He is the victim as I am. He didn't know this would happen._

 _But didn't he? He knew how dangerous they were and he still kept you in dark. He willingly let your parents die, Ran. You cornered him so many times and he always lied to you to get out of that situation._

 _But that's because he was convinced we would be hurt. How could he have known it would come to this?_

 _You are so naive, Ran. That's the reason why he got out of your clutches everytime. You are very easy to take advantage of. You think you are being kind? You are being an idiot. Shinichi willingly let Dad get in the line of fire. If he hadn't used Sleeping Kogoro to get close to the Organization, none of this would have happened._

She didn't know how to answer back to that. And as seconds passed, she could feel a part of herself whither away. What was the use of being a kind hearted person when this was what she was going to be repayed with? What was the point of having faith in anything when this was the result? Everybody around her had lied to her. Every-goddmned-body. Shinichi. His parents. Hattori-kun. Ai-chan. Agasa-hakase. People she knew and trusted. Everybody had betrayed her.

 _All of them were laughing the three of you. The gullible Mouris, so easily fooled. All of them took advantage of you and your family, Ran. And this is the gift that you have been given. Your dead parents. They didn't even know why they were getting tortured. They didn't even know what they were getting killed for. They died believing a lie._

That was enough for her. She stepped back from Shinichi's embrace and wiped her tears away. No more. She wouldn't be weak. She would _never_ trust anybody implicitly as she used to. She would never allow herself to be made a fool out of.

As her resolve emboldened, Shinichi could see that she was slipping away. He felt it in his bones that if he didn't stop her from thinking whatever she was thinking, he would lose his Ran. But before he could even think of how to bring her back, he had lost her.

For the first time in his life, he was genuinely afraid of Ran. He had never seen her eyes filled with so much hatred and malice. As she stood still, a few inches away from him, he had never felt like Ran was farther away from him as he did in that moment. He knew that they shared this freakish emotional connection that he could never fathom and he relied on that heavily whenever she was concerned. Once, he ignored it, once and it led to their unravelling.

The seconds ticked away, with him trying to rack his brain to bring _his_ Ran back. He could deal with her hatred and anger and sadness and everything but he couldn't deal if it wasn't _her._

He couldn't find anything to say to her. Everything he wanted to say felt like a farce. There was nothing and nobody that could bring her family back from the dead. Nothing he could say would soothe her pain and without his logic backing him up, he felt helpless but there was one thing he wanted to convey to her above all.

And the litany of 'Sorry's was all that could be heard between what looked like a haggard six to seven year old boy and a sad, broken girl of his age.

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 **A/N: Thanks for reading. I'll write whenever I can. I have exams on 29th of this month and 5th June. And I have mock exams as well. Do review. It makes me want to write more!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites! I had asked** _ **hislips**_ **what name should be given to small Ran and I wanted to ask all of my readers too. What do you think would be the best name for mini-Ran? Let me know!**

 **All mistakes are mine.**

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It had been two days and tension was running high at the Kudo household. The aftermath of Mouri's abduction and subsequent murders and one survival, if one could call being a zombie survival, was hitting everybody.

Yuusaku and Yukiko were Kogoro's and Eri's friends. Yukiko had known them since she was in high school. She might not have stayed in contact as much as she liked to but it didn't mean that she didn't think of Eri as one of her closest friend. She had a friendly rivalry going on with the queen of wits. Knowing that she would never be able to see Eri was a punch to the gut. Eri was the one she could count on whenever she was feeling flighty. Eri would bring back Yukiko to earth while she was riding a high and she always appreciated her for that. She knew how exuberant she could get at little things and that would, on some level, annoy other people but with Eri she could be herself.

She also knew how smart Kogoro could be. There were reasons why he was in the police force for as long as he was, but that was before alcohol took a priority on his list. A simple mistake in an investigation had led to an innocent incarcerated and the real murderer had walked away scott free. A few months later, that decision proved fatal as the murderer continued to wreck havoc on the people of Tokyo for a long time before he was captured. That had led to his confidence being shattered in his own skills and for better or worse, Kudo Yuusaku had stepped in.

Yuusaku had become then what Shinichi was now. The saviour of Tokyo Police. But a slight difference was present in father and son, and that being the art of story telling. Yuusaku had way with words that Shinichi lacked and after imparting some of his knowledge to his son, Yuusaku had completely left the police world. That didn't mean that he didn't have high ranked friends in various parts of the globe. Both husband and wife were well known and that had earned them friends and foes alike.

Yuusaku didn't interfere with Shinichi's work. He knew how prideful his son was and he knew how stubborn he could be when faced with a challenge but that didn't stop him from keeping tabs on him. Especially after he had shrunk. He knew that Yukiko and him had many mistakes when it came to Shinichi. He was forced to grow up at an age when no one should but Mouri's daughter was the same as well. Both the kids had lost what a family should be.

Being at an age that he could see and recognize his faults for what they were, Yuusaku felt guilt creep up. He should have helped Shinichi rather than prancing around the world. He knew however smart his teenager son could be, he should have stayed in Japan so he could guide his son. Forming emotional attachments for Shinichi was a tough task but he had bonded with Mouri Ran at such a young age. Knowing how fragile friendship was and how different Shinichi and Ran were, Yuusaku didn't expect them to be friends for as long as they were, _are._ He could see, though, that his bookworm son was more prone to adventures due to the outgoing girl. And he could acknowledge that being around Ran had made his son more approachable. Both of them were protective of each other for they recognized in each other what others couldn't look.

Ran could see that behind Shinichi's arrogance and standoffishness was just a boy who wanted acceptance for what he was. Shinichi could see that behind Ran's broad smile and cheerful attitude was just a mask of despair and sadness that she couldn't articulate. So, they stepped up to their best friend plate as best as they could. Ran brought Shinichi along with her so he could play with her friends and Shinichi accompanied Ran on the way to their houses, knowing that she would open up to him if they were alone and when she was ready.

Yuusaku and Yukiko owed Ran for making Shinichi into the person he was. They had never been appropriate parents for their son and Ran had taken care of him when they hadn't. In turn, Shinichi had cared for Ran when her parents didn't. But Yuusaku hadn't thought that their friendship would transform into love. He thought that at best they would remain sibling like friends and at worst, would go their own ways as they grew up but for whatever reason, he didn't think that his son would fall in love with his best friend or so would Ran.

He had decided to follow Shinichi's lead in Black Organization case, but he could easily see how faulty Shinichi's logic was when it came to blindsiding Mouris, especially Ran, when she could help him a lot by giving him an excellent cover for his investigations and could pitch in while investigating as well. And lo and behold, he came to know that it wasn't Shinichi's idea to not tell Ran but Professor Agasa. He knew that everybody involved in this case had good intentions when it came to protecting Ran and her family but this wasn't the correct way. He was proven right in the most heinous way possible.

The Mouris were dead and he included Ran in that as well. The girl looked like a walking corpse and it broke his heart to see the young, vibrant women he had seen grown up in his household, for all intents and purposes transform into shell of a person.

They had brought her back from the hospital stating that they knew the girl's parents and would gladly take care of her. Having the members of F.B.I. also might have helped them in accomplishing that. And so the Kudos had brought Ran to their household two days ago.

Shinichi was yoyoing between wanting to stay with Ran and staying away from her. He didn't know what she wanted. Would she appreciate seeing him or would she stare blankly at whatever wall she could face straight at? That's all what she had done for two days. Stare blankly at a wall in front of her in the guest room. Her silence was killing him. He never left her vicinity. Wherever she was, he would be there too, staying back so she didn't feel claustrophobic by his presence or if he was very lucky, so that she would speak. She had stayed silent after he had seen her eyes go cold in the hospital.

As much as that scared him, he knew he wouldn't back away from his promise. He was going to take care of Ran. And speaking of promises, he hadn't predicted that Vermouth would stay as well. Vermouth was in Kudo household without a stitch of disguise on her, sipping tea in the living room. It was so absurd yet it made total sense. She was the member of Black Organization but she was more loyal to Ran than anybody else. He knew that she regarded him with respect and would not break promises, if the decision was in her hands, but this whole nightmare had clued in what laid behind Vermouth's facade. It was that she wouldn't let Ran get hurt. It didn't matter if the decision to kill Ran came from the Boss itself, she would not do it. And for that, she was his ally.

She was Ran's ally as well, it seemed, because if there was anybody who could get a bit of attention from her, it was Vermouth. So he quietly let Vermouth take care of Ran, always lurking around to catch a glimpse of her.

Subaru-san, Jodie-sensei, Professor Agasa, Haibara, Shinichi's parents and Shinichi were gathered in the library. Vermouth was in the guest room with Ran, which didn't make Haibara feel a speck of safety and made Shinichi want to run away from the library and declare the hallway in front of the guest room as his, so he could keep an eye on Ran. But since he couldn't do that, he settled for whatever discussion that was going to take place.

"We need to take the girl to a secure place. Living with people who have such a presence in the society wouldn't help her in maintaining a low profile," said Jodie-sensei.

Haibara piped in, "She can stay with us. Moreover, it would be better for her to stay close to people she knows, seeing that her family is dead now."

Shinichi flinched back at Haibara's cold assessment and buried his hands in his pockets.

"Yes, but would it be wise? People know that Kogoro-san and Ran-san are close to me. Having a kid that looked like Ran-san when she was young would just raise suspicion. The timing is very dubious at best. Plus, Kogoro-san was very well known as a famous detective and Eri-san was a good lawyer as well and people know about Ran-san as well, considering that she's won a lot of karate tournaments and is the daughter of such a famous detective," said Professor Agasa.

That was a good point to ponder at but Yukiko had enough of staying away from her kids and she did think of Ran as her child, "We can stay here in Japan as Edogawas. We can take care of Ran-chan. It's the least we could do. Please, please, don't take her away," she cried.

Yuusaku stepped closer towards his wife to encircle her shoulders and Shinichi just stared at his mother blankly. What he was feeling was wrong. He shouldn't feel rage, right? But it was there, just seething below the surface. He wondered why he was feeling that way but a clear, high pitched voice broke his thought process.

"What? You are feeling guilty because my parents are dead?" All the people in the library turned their head to look at Vermouth and six year old Ran standing near the open door. But she didn't look like what six year old Ran had looked. Her face was blank, her eyes held fire in them though, and for that Shinichi was glad. She was going to burst apart at the seams. She needed to let out what she was feeling. And if poison was coming their way, he would gladly take it and he knew, so would the other people in the room.

"What have we done wrong that you had to punish us in such a way? Were we that bad? That unworthy of _your secret,_ that none of you could let us know if we were danger in not?" Ran's voice echoed in the library, rising in pitch and fervour with every word she said, "I understand not letting others know of things that could place them in danger but it's stupid to not let the know the people who are involved in the middle of your freaking mess that _you created without letting them know!_ What the hell? What did any of you think that it would accomplish?"

She turned towards Shinichi, her fists balled as if she was waiting for the right chance to hit him, and with all the anger and frustration and helplessness and hope that she had felt while she was kidnapped and was forced to watch her nightmare in all clear details, she cried out, "You were my best friend. I trusted you so much, Shinichi. Why didn't you? Why didn't you, Shinichi?" She started crying. She didn't plan to. She was prepared to give him a piece of her mind but looking at his haggard, pale, drawn face and defeated stance, she couldn't. She knew that Shinichi was his own enemy when it came to failure and deep in her soul, she knew that he was afraid for her and had done what he thought was the safest route for her. She knew that. She knew. For the past two days, she had countered every evil, bad thought that she had with every good thought.

She couldn't, shouldn't let this nightmare define her. Even if everybody was against her, even if Shinichi was against her, she would rise against this. Her parents death won't go in vain. She would make sure that the people who had killed her parents would pay. She would go to any length and do anything to make sure that justice was served. And that thought had led her to understand Shinichi's stance a little bit. It didn't lessen the hurt she felt or fill in the void that had taken place in her heart but it was a start. She wouldn't be weak.

Mouri Ran was tougher than the world believed and she would make sure that no one would suffer the way she did. Even if it meant giving up her life to do that.

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 **A/N: Hope you like it! Drop a review. My exams are done. Next is in July. 24th to be exact. So, I won't exactly be free but I'll write. No promised schedule though.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Roller coaster coming up. Thanks for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting! All mistakes are mine. Tell me what you thought about this one.**

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The desk was free of any beer cans. That was among a list of things that stood out as Ran stared intently at the piece of furniture that she mentally linked with her dad working. The place was too clean. The way it was when they had left for the restaurant a few days ago. She hated it. The sun was setting and the air was cooling a bit. The shadows left behind were mocking the emptiness within the agency, for there was no silhouette of a person. There was only her. And right then, she didn't feel like a person.

She willed for beer cans to pop up. For the TV to turn on and flip on to a channel where Yoko Okino was acting, singing, dancing, doing anything so that she could hear her dad moon over the idol. She wanted to see her dad sprawled on the desk, drunkenly mumbling some nonsense. She wanted to hear noise, see some mess. Not this. This complete silence that was roaring in her ears. Not this cleanliness that indicated nobody was inhabiting the agency. She turned around sharply, not able to stand the sight of the empty desk.

She slid down on the floor, feeling all of her energy drain away. All of the anger, guilt, remorse, bravery morphing into nothingness. She felt empty. The silence was deafening. The sight was unwatchable. So, she reverted back into one of her tactics. She closed her eyes and clamped her hands on her ears, shutting away the world. This was too much.

How was she going to survive? Was she going to survive? Was there anything she could do? She had felt vindicated when she had heard people talk about her life like she had no say in it. She was furious that they had always dictated how her life would go. Some rational part of her mind had told her that it was not her business. She wasn't directly involved in it, so why would she be subjected to the horrors that they felt was an unnecessary burden for her?

But those were just meaningless excuses. Shinichi was her best friend. She was invested in him. And maybe she was an idiot, but she always had thought that it was a two-way street. Did they really think that she would forget that he was gone? That her only means of communication was a telephone? And that he popped up once in a blue moon and vanished as fast as he could? He always gave her the excuse of cases. And now, knowing the truth, she could say that he wasn't lying. He was involved in cases, the problem was those cases were solved by him when he was around her in his shrunk form.

Forget her relationship with Shinichi, or even Conan, whom she thought of as a little brother and had tried hard to not let him see the gruesome face of humanity but then, decided to give up on that because she could see how brilliant and careful and interested he was in those murders. Still, she worried, it was her nature to. And it was a har pill to swallow that she had been blindsided in such a way. She knew that Shinichi didn't trust or respect her father's skills as a detective and knowing the whole truth, Conan didn't either. She could give him the benefit of doubt though, he tried to let her father clue in but when he couldn't connect the dots, Conan had to dart him.

In a twisted way, it all made sense. He was looking out for himself and her. While her father was not his priority, he had tried to save him in any way he could. He had tried his level best, but the truth was his level best was not enough.

His level best had led to her parents being chained and cut with a sharp edged knife. His level best had led to her father screaming out in agony while her mother's muffled cried echoed in her ears. She had to hear every crack of bone when the metal bat had struck her father's leg and the sickening crack of her mother's skull being crushed when they had ultimately had enough of torturing her. The bang of the gun when the blonde haired man had shot her father in the head. And to make it even more horrifying, he had shot her father from the back, and she could see how scared her father was. His red-rimmed eyes had looked terrified and almost pleading and when he had heard the cocking of gun behind him, he had closed his eyes for a second, as if accepting what was coming. And before he took his last breath, he had opened his eyes. They were filled with warmth and love. As if he was saying _Sorry_ and _I love you_ and _Be strong_ and _I am so proud of you_. And then his eyes went blank as blood pooled from his had seen everything happen on the television screen. In the back of her mind, she could hear a heartbreaking keening noise and it startled her to realise it was coming from her. She had never heard that sound from anybody but then, she didn't know anybody who had seen the worst of torture being inflicted upon the people they loved.

Now, when he was allowing herself to think about what had happened in that house, the memories were relentless. It was weird how she could recall the sterilized whiite of the room. She could recall every miniscule detail in painstakingly clear manner. She smirked cruelly, her mind would willingly block anything that was too much for her but not this. She would do anything to forget this nightmare. But then, it would be a disservice to her parents.

Her emotions were running high. She would feel furious one second and then hopelessness the next instant. She would make up her mind to let all of this go and bring those murderers to justice and then she would feel that them being behind bars was not enough. Them being alive was not enough. They needed to die. And that thought scared her. What had they done to her? That she was wishing for somebody to die? That didn't make her any better than those killers. And that solidified her stance on being brave. She was not going to let this ruin her or who she was. Her parents were proud of her who she was and had always encouraged her to become better. She could not allow herself to be killed this way. She owed that to her parents but that didn't mean she wasn't going to change. She could not unsee what she had seen. She could no longer naively think that everyone had something good to offer. She had come to realise that some people were bad and that evil was within them. Nothing could deter them. They weren't human and she had to accept that being a good person didn't automatically mean that everything would go right with their life. That they would be treated with the same kindness they had offered to other people. Being a good person didn't mean that they would have a happy life but that didn't mean that she was not going to be one.

She would make her parents proud even if it was the last thing that she did. She knew her mental capabilities weren't as par as that of Shinichi's or Ai-chan's or whatever she was called, but she wasn't an idiot. Now, was the time to show everyone that. Everybody had underestimated her and it pricked a little that Shinichi was one of them. She would show that he was more than her karate. More than just brute strength. She could be whip smart and it was time that she clued everybody in on that fact.

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Ran had been gone for hours and it wasn't as if she hadn't done that and come back in perfect condition but the last few days had given him a separation anxiety. He needed to see her with his own eyes and he knew where to find her. Mouri Detective Agency. It was seven p.m. and he had to see her. She had been gone the whole afternoon and it was the longest he had been away from her after... after her parents' murder. He swallowed down bile that threatened to come out.

He had been standnig on the staircase of the Agency that had become his home for all intents and purposes. Kogoro had become a sort of Dad figure and he did like him. At the very least, he could be counted on when it came to Ran. Ran... he didn't want to think what she would be doing at the moment but gathered his courage to walk up the stairs and open the door of the office.

She was sitting down on the floor. Her eyes were clamped shut and her ears pressed by her hands. She was breathing slowly, as if working up to something. Some part of him knew that she knew he was here. Her stiffening body hinted that she knew she was not alone. She let her hands fall off and opened her eyes slowly to look at him. Conan was standing there. Shinichi was standing there. She didn't care who he was right now. Just that he needed to go away. She wanted to be alone. She didn't need one of her weaknesses standing before her when she was strengthening her resolve. She hated how he influenced her and she didn't seem to have that much of a hold on him.

Being in his presence scrambled her brain, made her heart beat fast, made her palms sweat with excitement and the next second, he would open his mouth and something sarcastic or Holmes related would come out and she would dish out the sarcasm back at him. Being with him was the highest high she had ever felt. Every victory was amplified by his happiness as well. It was unfair that he didn't feel the same way but right now wasn't the time to dwell on that. She had bigger things to focus on than Shinichi or Conan or whoever he was.

He sat beside her leaving a few inches of space between them, in complete silence.

"Why are you here?" she asked, staring unrelentingly at the wall in front of her.

"I needed to be near you," he answered honestly.

She scoffed in disbelief and smirked, "Not that you haven't been near me all these past months."

"Yeah, but you didn't know it was me... so it doesn't count," he said mildly.

Both of them were ignoring the elephant in the room and it got too much for Ran. She felt weak, which was morbidly funny, because a few seconds ago, she felt like she could have taken on the world. She wondered why she was so chaotic. One minute, she was filled with rage and the next, she felt broken. Why the hell couldn't she stick with one thing? Was this normal? Did every person who had lost their loved ones feel like that? So deranged and uncomfortable in their own skin? But it wasn't her skin, was it? She wasn't a teenager, she was a kid. She was a kid who had no parents. She was an orphan. Her parents were dead.

"My parents are dead, Shinichi," she said.

He flinched slightly at the nonchalant tone, knowing it was just the calm before a very, very horrendous storm.

She continued, "My parents are dead and I am alive," she turned to look at him with glassy eyes and whispered, "Why am I alive, Shinichi?"

She pressed on when he didn't say anything, everything hitting her at once, "They did nothing wrong. They shouldn't be dead. Oh my god, they are dead, Shinichi. That was horrifying. I just sat there while those... those murderers slowly tortured and killed them. I..." her voice shook and tears gathered in her eyes as she remembered, "I am so useless. I couldn't even save my parents. I... You were right in not trusting me. Whatever bravado I had shown in your house, it's all false. I am all talk and no action." She angrily dabbed away the tears that had flown and laughed mockingly, "I can't even stick with one thing. I feel... I feel so goddamned scared and angry and sad and strong and... I don't know. I feel crazy, Shinichi. How is this possible? How the hell are my parents dead, Shinichi?" She wailed.

He encircled her shoulders and let her cry, his chest tightened into a knot and his throat felt thick. She cried for what felt like hours, and all Shinichi could do was just be there for her. Both of them knew without speaking anything that Shinichi wasn't going away. He was loyal to his friends and family. Or at least, he tried to be and in some form or another, Ran knew that Shinichi was doing the best he could and maybe, it was because she felt like she was at her lowest, she acknowledged the fact that she needed Shinichi, now more than ever. Because how else could she explain that she felt relatively safe and whole with him, even after knowing the wretched things he had done?

* * *

They sat huddled together like little kids, drawing strength from each other as they normally used to before this nightmare.

They heard the door knob of the agency unlock and Shinichi pulled Ran behind him. There was a chance that a member of the Black Organization could come back and as the thought struck, he wanted to smack himself. What the hell was wrong with him? He had left Ran in the Agency for god knows how many hours and what if one of them had come back while she was alone? How could he be such an idiot?

Sweat trickled down his back and as the door started to open, Ran shook away from Shinichi's hold and stood beside him, ready to face whatever came her way, she wasn't hiding anymore. Shinichi tampered down the panic that rose within him at seeing her without protection but accepted her stance. He wasn't going to make any decisions for her. If she felt like she could handle it, then he wouldn't get in her way. Especially after experiencing herself what those bastards could do.

She smiled slightly when she noticed he wasn't trying to pull her behind him again and Shinichi just rolled his eyes when their eyes met. He could be a reasonable person when it came to her.

 _Kind of._

They stood side by side and an eternity passed before the door opened.

And Haibara Ai stood in front of them. Or Miyano Shiho. Or whoever she was.

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 **A/N: This is getting longer than I hoped it would. Stupid characters taking over and not letting me finish the story. Review, please?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry, I've been MIA. My computer stopped working and I had to buy a new one, which meant that all the chapters I had written were gone.**

 **Thanks for reading! All mistakes are mine.**

 **Yeeeaaah, so I added some things to this one. And I think I'm gonna write some more chapters and give it a proper ending. I've got my writing groove back on, so let's see.**

 **Review to let me know what you thought.**

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Haibara Ai had a lot of secrets, some of them were harmless and some of them were frighteningly bad, but recently, she had started focusing on the harmless ones.

She had never known pure joy until a while ago. She could act like a child that she never was allowed to be. She would forget about her situation and how much of a danger she could be to others while she was among the people she had come to know. From time to time, she even had fun, which was a weird thing to experience. That's not to say that she didn't have fun with her elder sister, but she was never able to concentrate on just being with her sister while she had the deadline of her experiments results looming in front of her and she regretted that with every fibre of her being. She wasn't going to make the same mistakes again. She had been given a second chance to life and she was going to make the most of it.

At first, she was reserved and quiet, silently judging people whether they were going to harm her or not but little by little, she opened herself up to others. She could still feel it when someone from the Organization would get close but she didn't let that fear rule her life. She was able to be more level headed.

Opening up to people was difficult. Especially considering that she had limited human contact. The Organization wouldn't allow her to have contact with people outside her domain. The only normal person she could communicate with was her sister. Her sister's death was a huge shock to her but even more; it was a testament to the Organization's commitment. Their commitment to never letting people go. Either you lived in the Organization or you die on the hands of Organization. They were so methodical in their approach that nobody was allowed to associate with each other until they had a valid reason to. Sherry only knew her lab mates and heard just the whispers of rumors that would float around. She didn't talk to anybody else and after she had become Haibara Ai, she found how odd she was.

People talked to each other just because they wanted to and not just for the purpose of advancing their goals. They smiled and laughed and cried and trusted each other. They made decisions with their hearts, not only just minds. She was taken aback with how different and open the world outside the Organization was.

She knew who Kudo Shinichi was because she knew the effect of the drug she had created. It was not the drug that was originally she was meant to make but rather it was just a prototype. The body shrinking was a side effect. And so, she found Edogawa Conan, the unusually bright boy that lived with the Mouris. And with him, came the Detective Boys and Agasa Hakase and the girl at the detective agency.

Oh, it was so intriguing to watch Edogawa Conan. He was so obviously in love with the girl at the detective agency that it was plain for everybody to see. He went to great lengths to make sure she was happy and safe, which greatly contradicted with each other. Because making her happy would mean bringing Kudo Shinichi back and keeping her safe would mean keeping her away from Kudo Shinichi. And so, he tried to balance it all along with solving cases that came his way. He had a moral compass so strong that he never allowed anybody to die if he could help it. Justice in his eyes was something to be revered and delivered. He loved to solve cases and was relentless in finding the Organization that had shrunk his body and perpetrated so many crimes. It was all so amazing to look at.

Then there was the girl at the detective agency. She would never allow herself to say her name, if she could help it. She didn't know why but acknowledging her as Ran meant something to her. She would never say this to anyone, but she found Akemi-neesan in Ran-san. The way they both tried to save others, their bravery and honesty shone brighter than anybody else's. It was difficult for her to admit that she thought of Ran as her sister to herself, let alone anyone else, especially considering she was responsible for her sadness and the fact that Shinichi wasn't around.

The Detective Boys made her smile. Ayumi was a girl but she took great pride in declaring that she was a part of Detective Boys' team. Genta and Mitsuhiko, along with Ayumi were a source of brightness in her life. They were so innocent and strong and steadfastly worked to solve cases and learn more that she found herself cajoling them towards safety and reason. She would act as a guardian to these three kids and she did so with no questions asked. Agasa Hakase was the same. She took care of him and he took care of her. It was one of her missions in life to reduce Hakase's cholesterol level. She took great in planning his meals and was strict in enforcing her diet.

She found herself singing to pop songs and blushing at football players. She found herself making irrational decision based on how she felt and not on what the facts presented. She felt. And it was the best thing in the world. She was able to relax and smile and laugh freely for the first time in her life and it came crashing down.

She had always known that the other show would fall but she didn't imagine it this way. The notion that the Mouris would be a target didn't even enter her head. She had always warned Edogawa-kun that telling the girl at the detective agency the truth would mean bringing her into chaos and danger but she hadn't known that Gin was already eyeing them.

So after that entire debacle, she knew she had some things to apologize for. And seeing Edogawa-kun wander around helplessly all day around the room in which the girl at the detect- _Ran-san_ \- was kept in wasn't helping her any. So, when she had seen Ran-san go the detective agency and saw Edogawa-kun follow her, she knew she had to come clean about her involvement in the shambles their lives had turned into.

With that thought in her head and her resolve steeled, she went after them. When she was about to knock on the agency's door, she heard whispers coming out of the room and decided to take a walk. She wasn't going to invade their privacy, not after all the two of them had gone through.

She walked and walked and walked, marveling how _normal_ everything else was. The streets were buzzing. People were talking and smiling and laughing with their friends, some were bargaining with the vendors and she could hear the food sizzle and the pots clash together and she had never felt the need to scream and cry more than she felt then. Everything was crashing around her, so why did the outside world look so normal?

When the sun started to set and she realized that hours had passed, she moved towards the detective agency. She had things to confess and the walk had helped to clear her head. There was no use lamenting in what had happened, they could only look forward and work things out. Whatever decision Ran-san and Edogawa-kun made, she would happily comply with those decisions but she had a story to tell them first and then, she would take whatever came her way. The past months had taught her a lot and she wasn't going to run away from her fate, as Edogawa-kun had told her.

She walked up the stairs of the agency and after she made sure there weren't any voices coming out of the room, she opened the door to check whether Ran-san and Edogawa-kun were in the room or not and she found them standing side by side. With her heart set and mind clear, she opened her mouth to speak.

 **~oOo~**

Gin wasn't in the habit to go back to the place where he had killed someone. He didn't really remember the names of those people too. Thinking about dead humans was useless. Since they couldn't open their mouth to speak, they were no problem to him.

He had killed many in his life. He enjoyed the fear that was painfully obvious when his victim realized that there was no escape. They begged him to spare their lives. And the rush of adrenaline and power was so heady that he couldn't help but smile. He decided fates of people. He chose who lived and who died. He took exceptionally great pleasure in getting rid of Organization's traitors. Or people who could come close to finding out about them.

He had no plans to go back to the place where he had killed his recent victims but when it came to his attention that Vermouth had visited the remote cottage, he decided to take a look. He remembered whom he had killed though, mainly because the name had been swirling around him for a while. Mouri-tantei.

Vermouth and lack of evidence were the only two reasons why he hadn't killed that man earlier. And lack of evidence hadn't really stopped him before. The name kept nagging him, he needed a reason to kill him and he found one when he saw who his daughter was. Mouri Ran. The girl who was with Kudo Shinichi, the detective brat that had the bad luck to come across him. After he had known that fun tidbit, he wasted no time in telling That person. His whole body was itching to get rid of Mouri-tantei.

And when the day had come, he took his time with the whole family. To be fair, he was going to let the mother and kid go, but then he decided not to. The girl, Ran, was a friend of that detective he had given the poison. It seemed like she hadn't filed a complaint yet but They could never be too cautious. And the mother was a lawyer, so if she suspected some foul play, which admittedly, if he was the one taking out the hit, nobody would suspect, she would become a liability too.

So he shot three birds with one stone. The whole family dead except for one thing. While Brandy had searched about them, she found that a kid was living with them too. Edogawa Conan. But that kid wasn't with them in that car. He decided not to dwell on it. The kid wasn't a blood relative and killing children was something he didn't like to do. He would if the situation required but he tried to avoid that situation.

Vodka stomped the breaks suddenly and Gin looked out to see why he had stopped. Police was on the scene. Tch, now he wouldn't be able to investigate properly for Vermouth's reason to come here.

"Aniki, what should we do?" Vodka asked.

He took the cigarette out of his mouth and watched briefly as the policemen walked into the cabin. He had made sure to get rid of all evidences of their presence. There was no way to deny that the whole family had been murdered but they would never be able to realize who the murderer was.

He smirked to himself and said, "Let's go. We have nothing else to do here. That person must have told Vermouth to come here. She did seem to rather like him. Too bad they're all dead now."

Vodka stepped on the accelerator and they were off. After all, they had Sherry to worry about.

 **~oOo~**

Ran-neechan was dead.

Ayumi, Genta and Mitsuhiko couldn't believe it. They stared at Conan-kun in shock. How was this possible? Who would kill Ran-neechan?

"Oi, Conan, don't joke like that!" Genta said angrily. Why would he say something like that?

"C'mon, Conan-kun, this isn't a good prank." Mitsuhiko said sheepishly, half scared that what he was saying was true.

But Ayumi just started sobbing. She knew Conan-kun wouldn't joke about death. Particularly, Ran-neechan's death. He loved Ran-neechan and was always protective of her. For him to say something like that, it must have been true. Ran neechan really was dead.

At the morose look at Conan-kun's face and downcast eyes of Haibara-san, Genta and Mitsuhiko came to the awful realization. He wasn't joking. But how was it possible? Why Ran-neechan? Their eyes filled with tears as the remembered the kind hearted sixteen year old, who was a part guardian, part play mate to them. She was such a fun girl to be around. They always played some games or others and she would play with them enthusiastically as well. Mitsuhiko knew how rare it was because he couldn't even get his elder sister to play with him. Most adults just tolerated them, but it seemed like Ran-neechan liked having them around. She always used to encourage them and would sometimes scold them whenever they would get in any danger. To hear that she was dead, it was unbelievable.

Ayumi hugged Conan-kun, knowing that Ran-neechan's death had hurt him the most. Even Ai-chan's eyes glazed and she knew at that moment that the five of them weren't going to be the same.

The atmosphere was heavy as they walked back to the fifth district. The setting sun didn't help either. The three of them were brimming with happiness to get the chance to play with Conan-kun and Haibara-san just an hour ago. They didn't usually play late in the evening because their parents would scold them otherwise, and now, they felt like their chest was gaped open. It hurt to breathe.

They had calmed down considerably, just a few sniffles interrupted the silence between them. The Detective Boys had encountered a lot of dead bodies and they had always felt a little scared and sad about the death of a person but nothing shook them to their core like this death. It was personal and now, they knew how the victim's family felt and for the first time, they wished that they wouldn't come across any case.

 _ **A few days later**_

"Everybody, we are going to have a new student in our class. Her name is Haibara Reina," Kobayashi sensei said.

The door slid open and a six year old girl walked in with a nervous smile.

"Good morning, everyone. I am Haibara Reina. It's nice to meet you."

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 **A/N: We don't have a lot of back story to Sherry, and seeing how confusing her story has gotten lately, I thought I should leave it open. I'm sure you get Haibara Reina is, it's Ran name. I made Ai and her sisters.**

 **Thank you to all those who read, reviewed, followed or favorited this story.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: The next one! It's going to take time to get used to this story line again. Little nervous about the flow. Let's see how it goes.**

 **Suicidal thoughts warning!**

 **All mistakes are mine. Hope you like it! Do review to let me know.**

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Sonoko stared absently at the blackboard. She knew there were mathematical equations written on them, she knew the teacher was talking about how important this lesson was, but she couldn't concentrate.

It was a miracle that she had even come to school. She didn't even remember how she had reached the school but the next time she regained her bearings, there was chatter of students and people were buzzing around her.

She vaguely heard the bell ring signaling the end of class and the school day. Nothing entered her brain. She was floating somewhere in space and she didn't want to come back to earth. Not when _she_ was not there.

She wrapped her things up, particularly taking note not to glance at a certain seat. She knew her classmates were staring at her. She was used to stares but not these full of pity and sadness stares. She didn't stop to talk to anybody. She wasn't in the mood to.

She walked to her home, unaware of anything around her. She greeted everybody when entered the house and promptly went to her room and shut the door.

This was all pointless. She couldn't pretend that she was okay. She wasn't. And the only person who she could talk to at this time wasn't there. Ran wasn't here. Because Ran was dead.

All the energy she had stored to fake normalcy zapped. She slid down on the floor and cried bitterly for her best friend.

 **~oOo~**

Reina was having an uneventful day.

Elementary school was way too easy for her but she still focused. She didn't want to think so she busied herself in mindless tasks such as addition and subtraction. She diligently wrote down the answers in her notebook, pretending not to notice the Detective Boys' kids stare at her. They were a curious bunch, those kids but they seemed subdued somehow.

She got her answer for their quiet behavior during lunch break.

"Our Ran-neechan died, Haibara-san," Mitsuhiko-kun said sadly.

Ran was taken aback at their sad, little faces. These kids hadn't known much about her but they still liked her. They liked her enough to be sad when they thought she was dead. She looked helplessly at them, not knowing how to console them, so she let her instincts rule her action. She circled her arms around Mitsuhiko-kun and Ayumi-chan and tried to get Genta-kun into the hug but couldn't because of his size. She wiggled around to get more space so that he could fit in but it was of no use.

The face she made must have been because all three kids started giggling at her. So she went on with her fruitless effort to hug them all and that only resulted in the children's' delighted laughter.

In the end, Genta took the mantle of the hug-giver and squished Reina-san, Ayumi-chan and Mitsuhiko together and rocked them sideways.

Conan and Haibara looked at them from a little distance, sporting sad smiles and when Genta spotted them, he ran towards them to include them into their little impromptu group hug. Ayumi-chan squealed and Mitsuhiko was hitting Genta-kun lightly on the head for treating them like rag dolls. Conan backed away from him with his hands up but was defeated when he was crushed in Genta's grasp as well.

Normally, Genta would have left Haibara alone but this wasn't the time. For the first time in days, they had felt happy and she was going to be included in that. So he ignored all her warnings and glares and within a few seconds, six children were wrapped around in a hug, with three of them laughing at the top of their heads and the other three looking at them with smiles.

The atmosphere between the six of them had grown lighter as the school day ended and Ran had given them the permission to call her Reina-chan officially. The day had seemed to end on a buoyant note and Ran, Ai-chan and Shinichi were walking back to Agasa-hakase's home with awkward silence filling in.

They might have understood each others' reasons and circumstances but it didn't take the hurt feelings away. Each of them maintained a little space. They had been that way since Haibara had come to talk to them.

They had almost reached Agasa-hakase's house when Ran spoke, "Thank you for letting me use your name, Ai-chan."

She smiled and replied back, "It's the least I could do." She walked quietly into Hakase's house and that left Shinichi and Ran alone.

Ran had decided to live with Vermouth. Vermouth of all people! He knew that she wasn't going to hurt Ran but this was insane. She was a member of Black Organization. She was a cold blooded killer! The only reason she was out because was because she was excellent at what she did.

"I trust her," Ran had said to everyone that was gathered around them. "I trust her more than I trust any one of you."

And all arguments were finished. It was a bitter pill to swallow that Ran had more faith in a virtual stranger rather than him or the Kudo family or the members of the FBI or even Hakase. Her conviction in them had faded and they had nobody else to blame but themselves. If only things had turned out differently. If only he hadn't gone behind Gin and Vodka.

Shinichi was going to live with his family. His actual family. He hadn't lived with them for years and Mouri Detective Agency had become more of a home than his previous one was. It was going to be a big adjustment for everybody.

Shinichi stared at Ran, waiting for her to speak something but when he only heard "Bye" from her, he knew it was time to go. He wasn't going to force Ran. They would go at whatever pace she chose, even if it was mind numbingly slow pace.

Ran walked ahead where Vermouth had 'bought' a flat, he suspected that she had blackmailed the previous owner and vanished around the corner. He sighed despondently and opened the gate of his old home. It felt terrible to be on the other end of the stick, not knowing how things would turn up. This was the first time he had felt that way when it came to their relationship and now, he knew how Ran had felt all these months.

 **~oOo~**

Ran was walking around. She knew that she had passed her new 'home' but she didn't feel like stopping. She just wanted to walk. She had no destination to reach. She just her mind to stay quiet. It would all be fine if she would just stop thinking.

So she hummed and she walked. She hummed cheerful songs about overcoming great difficulties, about not losing strength, she didn't hum songs about friendship or trust or family. Those topics were locked and shut away.

She kicked the ground slightly, trying to bounce and she whirled on the footpath like an actual kid. She didn't want to think, so she was going to do something physical. When she was larger, she would practice karate but since karate was not an option for now, she was going to be a hyperactive child.

Ran skipped along, never pausing and humming to herself. Everything was going to be fine. Things just needed time to settle. These two sentences started swirling in her mind. So she hummed louder and skipped higher to drown out the logical voice. She needed not to think.

But those two incessant sentences wouldn't stop flashing in her head and she had enough.

"STOP! Stop thinking, damn it!" She let out an agonizing moan and screamed, "Just stop, please."

Her heart felt like it was being ripped out. Flashes of her mother, her father, her, Shinichi, Conan, Sonoko blurred her vision. She dropped to her knees. exhausted from all of it. Her skin felt too tight. Her lungs burned. Tears gathered in her eyes. Nothing was right. Nothing would ever be right. Everybody and everything she held dear was gone. What was the point in living on if she had nothing? Would she stay like this forever? A caricature of what she once was? Would she like to stay that way? Never happy? Never content? Nobody was there with her. Her parents were dead. For all purposes, Shinichi was dead to her too. She had acknowledged that she needed him but she had never acknowledged that she needed herself.

Yes, there was an escape to all of it. If she didn't exist, none of this would exist too. She wouldn't feel like the world was collapsing one her, she would never think about her dead family. She would never hurt, never feel pain. She would never know what betrayal felt like. She would never know what losing herself felt like. With that thought, she stood up. She wiped her face on her sleeve, her eyes filling with determination.

She had a purpose again. Even if that purpose was killing herself.

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 **A/N: Getting into this is difficult. Ugh. My head hurts.**

 **Thanks for reading. I promise to try to write better next time.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the love you've shown to this story.**

 **Mentions of suicide and angst warning!**

 **All mistakes are mine. I haven't proofread it.**

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Ran walked up the stairs, her footsteps echoing, but she didn't care because there was no one to listen to those footsteps. The distance between the stairs was hard to judge. She had to use more energy and she didn't want to. Wasn't getting through a day enough?

But it was inconsequential. The end result would make this all worthwhile. This would be the last time she would have to expend energy in anything, which was good, because she felt drained. And never in her life had she felt that way. This constant need to just stop. She had joked before with Shinichi, that her name meant 'run' but she was now exhausted. There was nothing left to run for, nor nothing left to run to.

She reached the top of the stairs, where their bedrooms were situated. The door was open slightly, but she couldn't care less. If it was one of the members of the Organization that Shinichi and Ai-chan had told him about, then it would be easier for her. They could kill her right then and there. She entered and for the first time in her life, she felt nothing.

She wasn't annoyed about her lazy father, she wasn't happy that she had gotten a good score on her tests, she wasn't sad that Shinichi was gone, she wasn't angry that someone had messed with her family, she wasn't worrying about Conan-kun, she wasn't chatting merrily with Sonoko. She felt nothing and she smirked.

She had always wondered what drove people to kill themselves. Wouldn't they be scared? Didn't they think about people who they were leaving behind? But she got her answer when she took out the knife from the kitchen drawer. Yes, they were scared but not scared enough to stop. They did think about people they were leaving behind but the all consuming grief didn't relent. They were selfish enough to hurt people just so that they wouldn't hurt. And that was okay with her. She had deserved this act of selfishness. She had sacrificed herself many times for the sake of others. No more. Now, it was their turn.

She let her tiny fingers slide along the blade of knife. Her fingers pricked and she expected it to hurt but it didn't. She was fearless in that moment, knowing all of this would end. Everybody would move on with their lives eventually. Even Shinichi who claimed to love her. She let out a dry little laugh. She knew he would care about his friend death but he would have new cases to solve. He always left her behind, this time he would get a taste of what she went through all these months, just in a more permanent way.

She held the knife to her wrist, mouthing 'I love you, oka-san, oto-san' when she heard a gasp, she turned around to see Sonoko with her eyes widened in horror.

Everything froze. She had forgotten about Sonoko. Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw her best friend. She would leave behind Sonoko, who had unconditionally stayed with her all those years. She sniffed and an anguished sob broke through her. Why wasn't anything easy?

Sonoko was baffled when she saw a kid enter the kitchen. She had come to the Agency a while ago, missing her dead best friend. She was in Ran's room when she had heard the door open. She tensed when she thought an intruder had come in. Nobody was touching anything in this household on Sonoko's watch. She grabbed a grooming stick from the corner of Ran's room and was ready to smash it into the person who dared to defile her best friend's home like this when she saw a child.

Was this kid one of brat-with-the-glasses friend? She had never seen her though. Speaking of the brat, Sonoko hadn't heard of him either. She knew he wasn't dead though. Maybe his parents had finally come to take him. It was about time though. Who left their kid alone like this? And in Ran's charge? She knew how nurturing Ran was but that was just taking advantage of her. Oji-san wouldn't help with the kid as he was helpless on his own majority of the time and everything would fall on Ran's shoulders. Again.

So Sonoko had taken up the mantle of being Ran's distraction. She took her shopping and to vacations and talked to her about boys and Kaito Kid. She didn't want Ran to miss out on being an everyday teenager. She wanted to see her best friend happy. And in hearts of her heart, she knew Shinichi-kun would too. His noticeable absence had made her furious.

Ran was dead and he was still off playing a detective? Did he really love Ran? Or were the cases more important to him? Did he miss her at all? And then there was Conan-kun. The brat-in-glasses was infatuated with Ran, if not in love with her. She had seen how he would act around boys who would show even a speck of interest in Ran. It was hard to believe that he would leave with his parents after Ran's death. Knowing how inquisitive he was, she was half sure that he would be searching who had killed his neechan. But then he was just a kid, what could he do?

The child she saw looked like a girl, at least from behind, with her long, wavy hair. Sonoko spied on her quietly; maybe this girl was missing her friend, like she did. But to her surprise, the girl walked confidently into the kitchen. Sonoko's brows furrowed, kids didn't usually walk this way. Had she come to the Agency before?

She followed the girl quietly and was aghast when she saw the kid putting a knife of her wrist. She let out an audible gasp and the girl turned around to face her.

The world froze as the two of them looked at each other. This girl… she looked like Ran. She looked like Ran when they were kids. What was going on?

The girl just stared at her until her eyes filled with tears and she started sobbing openly. For some reason, Sonoko's chest hurt looking at this kid. She reminded her so much of Ran that she couldn't help but kneel down to her height. The kid still had a knife in her hand and Sonoko slowly held her hand out, silently asking for the kid to given the knife to her. There was silence for a few seconds and the kid sniffed and reluctantly gave the knife away.

Once the knife was in Sonoko's hand, she cooed, "Good girl. It's all right." She pointed at the knife and said, "I'm going to put this away, okay? You don't have to be scared. I'm not going to hurt you. Okay?" As soon as she said that, she realized how redundant those words were, this kid had wanted to hurt herself. She would most definitely not be scared of her.

She put the knife in the drawer and sat diagonally across the kid. She didn't want this girl, Sonoko was sure she was a girl, how could she not be when she looked so much like Ran? to flee. She had tried to kill herself. She could try to do it again. And looking at the girl's haggard face, Sonoko was sure that she would try to. It was better for her to stay and not act suspiciously. The thought of this kid dying, when she looked so much like Ran, was unbearable. She had already lost her dearest friend. She didn't want her miniature clone to die too.

She held her hand up in invitation, asking her to sit. The girl obliged her and in a few seconds, they were sitting on opposite sides, facing each other. They stared at each other in silence and Sonoko had an inkling that this girl was trying to memorize her face. For what she couldn't say but this was much better than her having a knife in her hand.

"What is your name?" Sonoko asked when she was sure that the girl wasn't going to speak any sooner.

The girl spoke quietly, "Haibara Reina."

Haibara? So she was that prickly girl's sister? They didn't look like sisters though.

"I am Suzuki Sonoko." When there was silence for a beat, she continued, "This is my best friend's house. Her name is… _was_ Mouri Ran." The 'was' coming out of her mouth felt like she had swallowed knives. Saying 'was' hurt more than she had though it would.

"She… she died, you know? Along with her family… and I don't know what to do. I just… I miss her." She could feel herself choking up and the only words she could muster up before she broke down were, "I miss her. I miss her so much."

Tears poured down her face and Reina-chan stood up. She walked towards her and wrapped her hands around her head. Sonoko's head was buried into this kid's chest and she smelt exactly like Ran. She felt like Ran and before Sonoko could comprehend anything, ugly sobs broke through her.

Sonoko clung to Reina-chan for life and so did she. It seemed liked Reina-chan was crying too, her little body was shaking as she cried silent tears and all Sonoko could hear was a litany of 'Sorry'.

 **~oOo~**

Both of them calmed down after a while. The occasional hiccups and sniffles interrupted the relative silence when they hurried footsteps reach the second floor.

Conan stood near the doorway, wheezing for breath and wiped the sweat that had gathered on his forehead. He eyed the room and was mildly surprised to find Sonoko there but when his eyes landed on Reina-chan, his previously tense face lit up.

His whole body relaxed and he plopped down besides Reina-chan. "Ra… Reina… Are you okay?" he asked.

Reina-chan nodded tensely and looked away from him. Sonoko was confused. Hadn't Reina-chan come to meet the brat-in-glasses? It was his home and apparently, he hadn't left the Agency. But that wasn't the confusing part, she figured that they must have had a fight or something, Reina-chan did have a knife in her hand after all, but she didn't seem like those kids who would try to harm themselves just because they had a fight with their friend. No, the most confusing part was how their bodies gravitated towards each other without their notice.

Even though Reina-chan appeared to be angry at him, her body language had relaxed a little and she had unconsciously moved towards him. The brat-in-glasses didn't even pay attention anyone around him. He was staring intently at Reina-chan, as if trying to figure out what was going through her head. Where had Sonoko seen this exact dynamic?

The tension was getting thicker and Sonoko decided to cut it. For some reason, she was annoyed that the brat had interrupted her time with Reina-chan. "What are you doing here, brat-in-glasses? I haven't seen you in a while."

It was weird how his face changed from intense to innocence in a matter of seconds. As soon as he faced her, he let out a childish laugh and said, "Hehehe, my parents have come back, so I am living with them at Shinichi-niichan's house." At the word 'Shinichi' Reina-chan flinched a little and it was noticed by everyone in the room.

Sonoko didn't know how to approach this topic. Was the kid aware that Ran was dead? He must have been, right? She decided to cut through the chase. "Brat… you… you know what happened, right? With… Ran and oji-san?"

The way he reacted, Sonoko was sure he knew about it. He didn't seem so heartbroken over it though. Maybe kids took time to process? She wasn't sure what the protocol was.

"Yes, I… I heard about it." He answered quietly.

"Okay." Sonoko said. She wasn't going to prod him. She had already saved a young girl from killing herself. Her quota of consoling kids was full.

The three of them sat in silence. And for some inexplicable reason, Sonoko felt like she had gotten both of her childhood friends back, with Reina-chan taking the role of Ran and the brat-in-glasses taking the role of Shinichi-kun. The atmosphere reminded her of the times when Ran was depressed about her parents constant fights when they were young.

She didn't know what came over her but Sonoko needed to talk and being around these two made him want to speak. So she did. She started talking about the first time she had met Ran. The first time she had met Shinichi. The way their friendship unfolded. And how she had been the first one to notice when Shinichi-kun started looking at Ran differently.

She told Reina-chan and Conan-kun stories after stories about her time with Ran and Shinichi-kun and the kids listened quietly, half aware that she was grieving. Sonoko had been there for them in her own way. Pushing them to do what they wanted. Even Shinichi could admit that. Now, it was their turn to return the favor.

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 **A/N: Hope you like it! Review to let me know!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Enjoy! Vermouth's in here and Ran and Shinichi talk.**

 **All mistakes are mine.**

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Sonoko had gone home after a little while. She had been slightly embarrassed from crying in front of kids, especially the brat in glasses, but she felt at peace. They were almost like substitute for Ran and Shinichi-kun and as much as she loathed admitting it, she missed both of them. They had been together for more than a decade and she felt comfortable in their presence. She didn't have her guard up and she could say what she wanted to say. Even Shinichi-kun helped her in his own way but Ran's loss struck her the most and she was glad that Reina-chan and the brat was there when she missed her two childhood friends the most.

Ran and Shinichi stayed at the Agency, exhausted from the day. Silence reined between them, neither knowing what to talk about. Shinichi had been petrified when he heard from Vermouth that Ran hadn't come back home. Scenarios after scenarios flashed across his mind. Each of them getting gory one after the other. He had run out of his house the moment the phone clicked, signaling the end of conversation. He knew the most possible place where Ran could be found and he raced for the Mouri Detective Agency.

Anxiety gripped his heart. Ran had changed. She had withdrawn herself from the world and she might have conceded that she needed him in her life, that didn't mean that she liked it. Her eyes looked empty most of the time. Her pale face, which should have looked younger, seemed as if it had aged. The sadness and despair was evident and nobody knew how to get rid of it. In this state of mind, she could harm herself and that was what Shinichi was scared of. He didn't know how to get rid of her hurt. He had always been there to protect her, as himself or in Conan form but what could he do when he was the primary cause of her pain? What was the right thing to do for Ran?

He shook his head slightly, trying to shoo the negative thoughts away. He needed to focus on finding Ran now. Introspection could wait once she was safe.

The door on the second floor was open. Ran was here! His speed seemed to double up as he climbed the stairs and once he saw Ran, he felt a surge of relief so heavy that his knees almost buckled. She was safe.

A quick check of his periphery alerted him that Sonoko was there too but he didn't care that much at the moment. Once he was sure Ran was physically okay, he glanced towards Sonoko. Seeing her red eyes and tear tracks on her face, his insides ached. Ran was her best friend and he had taken her best friend away from her. He knew how much Sonoko cherished her friendship with Ran and as much as he liked to sarcastically quip and poke fun at her expense, he valued her friendship too. Ran was the common denominator between them and now she was gone.

It was the first time that Shinichi had seen Sonoko break down and it hurt. How many people had his decision impacted? His curiosity had taken away people that he loved and cherished. He loved being a detective but in his single minded pathway, he had caused destruction of many. Was this the kind of person he wanted to be? Who didn't even care about whether people around him got hurt or not? He understood physical hurt and he tried his best to avoid that but emotional hurt was a new territory of him. Never had solving cases resulted in such a big catastrophe and it primarily affected Ran and people she cared about. The only person he wanted to protect the most in world was hurt by his own actions, however unintended they may be.

He cleared his throat, wanting to get away from this place. He could see the bedroom where Ochhan used to snore loudly and the lump in his throat ached. Ochhan was dead. He had become a father-like figure for Conan. "Ran, let's go back. This place isn't safe. One of the members could come back here to investigate."

Ran didn't seem to hear it. She calmly faced him and the expression on her face scared him. The pure blankness in her eyes reflected his terrified expression and she said, "I tried to kill myself."

He swallowed, not knowing whether to cry or shout. This was pure agony. "Why… why would you do that?" He knew the answer. He knew the answer better than he knew anything.

"You know why." She said.

It hurt to breathe. When had things gotten so out of hand? "Ran… Ran, please. I'm so sorry. I know that I've caused you unimaginable pain but please… please don't do this to yourself. It will get better."

"How would you know? None of your family members are dead." Her words cut through him. It was true. No member of the Kudo family had died. It was just her family.

"They might be your blood parents but I thought of them as family too. I know that I can never understand the pain you are going through but if you will have me, I'll try to be there for you in whatever capacity you'll allow me to."

She didn't say anything.

 **~oOo~**

They walked back in silence. The cheerful atmosphere of people buzzing around him, excited for the weekend to start, was contrary to the tense one between him and Ran.

They stopped near the apartment which was Reina's house. Ran faced him and her eyes seemed to have a little life in them, her brows furrowed and opened her mouth and then shut it, struggling to get the words out.

Shinichi held her hand when he was sure that she was okay with it, encouraging her to speak. "I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so harsh. All of this… it isn't your fault."

Shinichi started to argue back when she said, "Listen, Shinichi. I know that you are detective nerd." At that, she cracked a small smile, "And I know how important your work is. I… I get sad sometimes, you know. I mean… I did lose…" Tears gathered in her eyes and her breathing accelerated. Shinichi stepped forward instinctively, wanting to console her when she motioned him to stop, "Let me just finish." She breathed in, trying to get air past the lump in her throat. "I am on a rollercoaster. One minute I'm sad and the next I'm angry and it's just all too much. I know. I know." Her eyes closed and she held Shinichi's hand in hers, "I know you didn't cause my… my parents' death," The words seemed to choke her, "You… you're not responsible for the action of others. You saw a crime happening and you intervened. You should have been more careful. You should've called me for help… but I understand, okay? It's just sometimes the irrational part takes over and I want to blame anybody for this."

Shinichi smiled sadly and softly murmured, "Mostly me."

Ran nodded and chuckled throatily, "Yeah, mostly you. Look, what I said… about killing myself… I'm sure I wouldn't have gone through with it. It just hurts to breathe, Shinichi and I wasn't in my right mind. Majority of the time, I'm not. It all just comes back swinging, you know? You think you're fine and then it's just… not. Seeing Sonoko was excruciating and I don't want her to see that way. Seeing you so broken is hard. So, please… just understand that… that I'll act out sometimes. I'll blame and cry and shout and would want to hurt myself and I know I'll have to talk to a psychiatrist about this. It isn't healthy. Look, the ones responsible for this is the Black Organization and you are an okay detective," They both laughed at that, "So, solve this case…solve this case and let me help you. Don't try to push me away by telling yourself that you're keeping me safe."

He nodded and raised their fisted hands onto his temple. His body was shaking and Ran stepped forward to hug him. Silent tears trailed down their faces and they stayed like that for a long time. Accepting each others' anger and pain and sadness. Shinichi knew that Ran would go back to her shell sometimes and Ran knew that he would blame himself. But now, they had a common ground and they knew what the other wanted.

 **~oOo~**

Vermouth was panicking, her Angel hadn't come back home. She was about to call Cool Guy's phone, when somebody knocked on her door. She peeped through the hole, checking to see if it was somebody suspicious and promptly opened the door when she saw two kids.

Her Angel was back.

The kids entered the flat and Vermouth closed the door, fighting back the impulse to hug Angel. For the first time in hours, she felt relief. But before that, "What did the both of you think you were doing being out so late?" She was angry.

Shinichi hadn't expected that and it angered him that she was treating them as little kids. Realization dawned on him and Vermouth said, "Yeah, exactly. You two are kids for all purposes. You might have the brain of teenagers but your body is still that of a child. You know this better, Cool Guy. And the Organization could be after you, particularly when they find out, if they haven't already found out, where the kid living with Mouri-tantei is."

At the mention of Ran's dead father, Vermouth cringed. She hadn't meant to mention him. Angel walked away from the conversation and shut the door behind her, proclaiming that she was tired.

Both Vermouth and Shinichi sighed.

"I didn't expect you to agree with her decision of Angel living with me, Cool Guy." Vermouth said.

Shinichi gave her a pained smile, "She trusts you more than she trusts us." His eyes sharpened a little and he warned her, "That doesn't mean I explicitly trust you though. You have helped me in keeping Haibara safe but after what had happened at the Bell Tree Express, I understood that you'll work out a loophole. So let me just clearly say this, You do anything to hurt Ran and I'll end you, is that clear?"

Vermouth smirked and said, "I'm pretty sure I'm not the one that's hurting Angel, Cool Guy." Shinichi's shoulders slumped a little and Vermouth took pity on him. She was fond of him after all. He just ranked a little below Angel. "You can trust me with Angel's life, Cool Guy."

Shinichi nodded and stood in the middle of the hallway, contemplating whether he should go without saying anything to Ran. It had been a hectic day for both of them, when he suddenly remembered, "And also… don't let Ran be alone. She's… she's not okay. So just be there with her."

He must have sensed her confusion because he added, "She… she tried to kill herself."

Vermouth's eyes widened at that. "So just take care of her. I'll be going now." Shinichi announced he was leaving, not wanting to disturb Ran and closed the door behind him.

Vermouth stood in shock. Angel tried to kill herself? What? How was that possible? Angel wasn't a person who would harm anybody, let alone herself. She protected a serial killer from dying. She protected Sherry from dying. Angel wasn't weak enough to take her own life. She was brave enough to sacrifice her own life for others. What was Cool Guy talking about?

She opened Angel's door, wanting to know the truth, when she saw her crying on the floor. Her little body shook with sobs and Vermouth didn't know what to do. She knew what she wanted to. She wanted to hug Angel but how could she, a murderer, touch a person so pure?

She had killed children that looked like Angel's age. She had never given a second thought about it. It was just a mission to her. She was a cold blooded killer and it was because of people like her that Angel was suffering?

Vermouth had never felt self hatred. But watching Angel weep, she knew she would never forget the way her heart twisted. The first time she felt like crying.

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 **A/N: Hope you like it! Review to let me know what you thought!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Enjoy and please review. Seeing your words make this time a little better for me.**

 **Not proofread, so excuse any mistakes.**

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Vermouth had fallen out of contact for the past few weeks. Rumor was that she had been shacking up with a kid in Beika.

Gin lit his cigarette, not amused by the groveling man in front of him. People who fought to live were more interesting because killing them would be more satisfactory. Vodka was talking to the man, threatening him really and Gin felt disconnected from it all. The last time he had fun was when he had killed the Mouri family. That murder was personal too. That Mouri detective had been involved in a lot of cases that coincided with the Organization members. Gin didn't believe in coincidences, but Vermouth had shown her preference towards him and he had to back off. But after his name coming up in Haneda case, he knew that the detective had to go.

A little digging and he found that his wife, Kisaki Eri had a case that would require her going up against one of the Organization trusted arms dealer. They couldn't afford to lose their contact; that was the excuse Gin had given Anokata to get the mission cleared. To be honest, he didn't care at all whether his wife was involved or not. Primary motive of the Organization was to not leave a single trace after the murder and his wife could potentially become a thorn in their side.

And then, there was the daughter, Mouri Ran. Gin didn't know whether he wanted to recruit her or kill her. On one hand, she was an excellent karate practitioner; on the other hand she had been surrounded by detectives all her life. Her childhood friend was Kudo Shinichi, the detective brat that had been drugged by him. There was a possibility that she would hold some malice towards the people that had killed her friend and at first, he wanted to have her. He could make her one of their own. Brainwashing wasn't really one of the things he liked to do that required a lot of patience and getting into the victim's head; he was more of a shoot first, ask questions later person. But he was willing to make an exception for this girl. She would make a great addition to their hand to hand combat division.

Halfway through her parent's torture at the cabin, Gin was ready to go ahead with his recruiting plan but when that Mouri girl looked up at the camera that had been installed and Gin saw the fire beneath her dead eyes, he knew this girl wasn't going to operate. People like her lived by their principles and died by them. She was a lost case and so he had fed her the same drug that he had used on her friend, that detective brat.

He was brought out of his musings when he heard a smack; Vodka had apparently hit the guy on the head. Gin sighed. This was boring. He walked up to the sniveling, crying man on the ground and felt disgust. A teenager girl was stronger than this useless waste of space. He didn't even want to waste his bullet on this man, let alone kill him by his own hands. He decided on the drug and for the first time that he had administered the drug to somebody, he waited there. He wanted to see the drug's effect with his own two eyes. Hearing this pathetic man's cry would definitely lighten up his mood.

And so he and Vodka waited as the drug kicked in. The man screamed as pain hit him and Gin smiled. He closed his eyes and relaxed back against a crate. Screams were music to his ears. The man continued to cry out and Gin's mood brightened every second. Ah, he needed this.

"An… Aniki, there's something… something wrong." Vodka stammered and Gin opened his eyes in confusion. Something wrong? What could go wrong with a man dying?

He looked at the ground where a man's corpse was supposed to be and felt the wind get knocked out of his lungs when he saw a young man of twenty-something years lying on the ground.

Vodka ran towards the man, trying to get an ID from his wallet. When he read out the name, Gin laughed. Oh, this was getting good.

"So the drug de-ages you rather than kill you, huh?" He let out a puff of smoke from his lips and brought back the cigarette. He took out his pistol and shot the man in the temple. Gin wagered that he deserved a bullet from his pistol. After all, this man had revealed a lot of information.

That Mouri girl was alive. That detective Kudo was alive. And knowing Vermouth's interest in the Mouri detective, he could bet that the kid she had been living with these past few weeks was that Mouri girl. Vermouth was a traitor and he could bet this had been going on for a while.

His eyes sharpened and his face grew fierce as he remembered that he had given Vermouth the responsibility to kill Sherry. Knowing her disdain towards Sherry, Gin was sure that Vermouth must have gotten rid of her. But he wasn't now. Bourbon seemed suspicious too. He and Vermouth were close. And if he wasn't wrong, Bourbon had been undercover working at the Mouri Detective Agency.

"Let's go. We have a traitor to smoke out." Gin said and smiled. Who knew that an impromptu decision made by him would unravel a web of secrets that he had been blind to.

He knew Vermouth was Anokata's favorite but even he would not tolerate this treachery on her part.

At last, he would get rid of the people he couldn't tolerate and people he wanted to kill. Bourbon. Vermouth. And Sherry.

He couldn't wait to see them.

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 **A/N: That's it for now. I am feeling burnt out and I have to focus on my exams. This is getting tiring and I have a near constant headache.**

 **The next update may take a long while on all of my stories. I'll try to write whenever I can but don't expect a chapter any time soon.**

 **Review to let me know what you thought and check out my other stories, if you're interested. I don't always write angst, it's just mostly angst.**

 **Later!**


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